Monday, April 11, 2005

Mid break ... and more

Lunch time ...

This morning there was a 'know how to get to your testing area' thing that took over 30 minutes. This meant that I didn't have student until after 8:30 as opposed to having them at 8:00. The school shortened 1st period, 2nd period, and 3rd block to accommodate the 30 minute exercise in futility. Now, at lunch, we are back on schedule.

I didn't have time this morning to say everything I wanted to say.

Today marks 18 months that Tammy and I have been married. It has been one wild roller coaster ride. The ups and downs have come through events and situations brought on by the kids. Tammy and I are rock solid. We were together for 18 months (thereabouts) before getting married. We kid ourselves about the way we kidded ourselves early on by saying we were taking our time. We weren't rushing this thing. We just weren't pulling the brakemen's handle very hard either.

We met in April '02. We met at several luncheons hosted by the chatroom that we both frequented. With the exception of giving her my brother-in-law's phone number for auto work, we never spoke online before meeting the first time in person. We were at the same lunches a few times before we ever really spoke then, other than the "hi's" and "byes" of hospitality. It wasn't that I ignored her, but I wasn't looking for anything in my life at the time we met. I never was much of a pursuer of those things anyway. I felt that if it happened, it happened. If it didn't happen, then it just didn't happen. I didn't press the issue. I had lots of friends and was having lots of fun enjoying their company and 'partying' with them.

So, we meet at these luncheons. It was the 3rd or 4th one (she can tell you exactly) before we ever spoke directly to each other with anything more than pleasantries. I was singing at the table to a friend. Tammy was at another table adjacent with her daughter Sierra. I stuck my tongue out at Pam (the friend to whom I was singing), and Tammy commented something I couldn't make out. She would not repeat it. She did later. "Nice tongue. Do you know how to use it?"

We talked online after that a couple times. We discovered our common love of writing and our common love of poetry. We got together one afternoon to share some poetry. It was the infamous 'Long John Silvers' meet. We talked for what seemed like hours and just minutes at the same time. It was time for her to begin her 'pick up the kids' thing, she we had to break off our conversation. I walked her to her truck. The connection between us was intense and our conversation just sealed it as eternal. We were going to be something, just what, was still indeterminable.

More to come .. Later .. As my time for lunch is coming to a close.

AND MORE ... (1:45 PM)

We went out a couple times more, but decided to keep it low key. We had seen how relationships in an open chatroom suffered. Making personal business everyone's business is never a good idea. Eventually we 'outed' ourselves. I never wanted to 'hide' our relationship, just protect it in it's early stages. I had no idea then that this was to be what it has become.

We dated for a while, as I said, telling ourselves that we were going at a nice slow pace. It was September 17th, when I told her for the first time that I loved her. I told her that I loved talking with her, I loved spending time with her, I loved hanging with her, so, I may as well admit it to myself. I loved her. She almost hit the floor. She already knew, but it was different to hear the words.
Class time ... Later

AND MORE ... (3:15 PM)

While I was working in Indiana, her landlords decided to tear down the house Tammy was renting. I told her to move into my place. I was only there on weekends. It just made sense. From there we lived together until a month or so before our wedding (interesting story).

18 months ago, we said the, "I do" thing in front of family and friends. It has been, as I said, a roller coaster ride. Each event, however, has pulled us closer together. A good friend once told me that trials can make you bitter or better. The choice is yours. Our trials have only strengthened our bond. She thinks I give the most in this thing. She thinks I have wings hidden somewhere. She doesn't know just how much I needed to be saved. She doesn't know how much I depend on her every day. She doesn't know how much it means to me to see her smile. With the blessing of God and the next 40 to 50 years, I hope to show her.


TammyJ said...
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TammyJ said...

Ok.. here is the exactly.. we met for the first time on April 19th.. and 4 lunches later was the one you stuck your tongue out at pam.. you have since answered my question from that lunch quite well.. I love you