Friday, March 31, 2023

Afraid


I hate needing someone 

As much as I need you

My mind tries 

To convince my heart I don't 

Sometimes my heart is swayed

By the mind's insistence


It lets slip the hand 

Which holds you close 

Lets my heart turn 

Lets you pass from sight

Touches are missed 

Words Are missed

Conversations become obligatory

Until you are almost gone


Then my heart feels the loss

Just by the near proximity of it

It cries out in anguish

It cries out in the need 

It has tried to ignore


I love needing you

I need to love you


I am afraid


I am afraid to need you

I am afraid not to need you

Loving you scares me

Not loving you scares me more


© Ron Simpson Jr.


Friday, March 24, 2023

Dawn


There is no light of hope. 

There is no glimmer of joy
The darkness bounces the sound 

And echoes the loneliness
Cold and dark, melded as one
Indistinguishable, as I sit 

At the edge of dawn

There is no adjustment 

For my eyes to reach
No matter how I strain, 

No light to gather in
Not even a fleeting of the diehard idealist
He cowers beneath the growing damp misery

Time is suspended or so it appears
For a moment, for one overwhelming moment
It seems this is to be the only reality left
Even without hope of an illusion

Then it happens, far far away
Whether it makes a sound, I cannot say
But something stirs in a distant land
Is it a break? Again, I cannot say

The sun breaks the horizon 

Tearing the fabric of the blackened sky
Cutting like a sword 

Through the thin velvet veil of misery
Darkness flooded with a brilliance 

Of orange and gold
Washing away the haze of yesterday's grays

Yellows and reds 

Strive to break the bonds of misery
Chasing away 

The heretofore smothering darkness
Light slashing through the horizon, 

Leading the sun's charge
Emboldened by the retreat of the shadows
There is something undeniable 

About this slicing light
Bringing to the front 

Previously hidden half truths
Exposing suspicions and putting them to flight
Advancing warmth encroaching on the pain

The sun emerges like a drowning man
Breaking the surface of hopelessness
But it is too late ....
I am already dead.

Welcome dawn.


© Ron Simpson Jr.

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

The Wound


The soil once soft and giving

Cheerfully accepted the rain

Fostered life and growth

Playing its part in the cycle


Time happens as time is wont to do

Trampled and hardened

The soil turns from receiving 

And in kind, refuses to give


It becomes dry and cracked

Broken by pressure and the sun

Life being baked out of it

But not in the vision of the farmer


With dogged determination 

And a relentless passion 

He wrestles the plow into position

And drives the honed wedged blade in 


The earth screams

At the piercing of the blade

The tearing of the ground

But this intrusion is just beginning 


With a team of oxen

Or horses, or a tractor

Guided by knowing hands

The plow blade begins to rip the soil


As it pulls through

The tenderness of the earth 

The softness of the soil

The hidden safe parts are exposed


The wound is deep

The tearing is relentless 

The earth cries and bleeds

Surely this is death


But, death does not visit

Rather, life comes


“The wound

Is where the light gets in”


The seed is introduced 

Into the gaping wound

With its very own microcosm 

Of the death and life cycle


The outer shell dies

So the life inside may escape

It is ‘torn’ if you will

To release its light 


So, the earth is torn

And life grows from the wound

The give and take continues

As from the beginning


Right now

You are hurting

You have closed your heart

However, your determination 

Not to be hurt

Not to be bruised

Not to be battered

Not to be torn

By the act of loving

Hampers your giving 


The wound

Is where the life gets in

The wound

Is where the healing must begin


Open, once again, your heart

Exposed your tender parts

Be brave, be courageous 

There is life yet to live

There is love yet to give


The wound

Is where it begins


© Ron Simpson Jr

I hurt right back


I hurt 

So I hurt right back 

I can’t even remember 

If I thought about it 

If I wanted it 

If I meant it 


I hurt 

So I hurt right back 

 

I started thinking 

I started wanting 

I started meaning it 

And I got better 

I knew just what to say 

I knew just when to say it 


I hurt 

So I hurt right back 

 

It became my drug 

I waited for it 

I looked for it 

I knew it would come 

I needed the rush 

I needed the high 


I hurt 

So I hurt right back 

 

Sharp words 

Biting retort 

Stinging expressions 

It felt so natural 

Nothing like 

 A learned response 


I hurt 

So I hurt right back 

 

I didn’t know 

What it did inside 

I became less 

Anger became more 

The raw 

Was the raw within 


I hurt 

So .. 

 

I stopped 

I looked at it 

Eye to eye 

I was scared 

It wore my face 

It had my voice 

It knew my words 


I hurt 

 

I left it there 

Railing in the wind 

Hurling its venom 

Screaming its rage 

It could not be 

My part anymore 


I hurt 

So, I walked away 

 

© Ron Simpson, Jr.


Friday, March 17, 2023

The Beast of Blasphemy


A few sacrilegious words in utteration 

Thus began my souls excoriation

I am dumbstruck by your vituperation 

The garrulousness of your imprecation 

The impiety of your fulmination

Fearing to delve into the origination

To muddle through the dark desecration 

To discover the irreverent profanation 

To find the merest plausible explanation 

To reach the billingsgate of your denunciation 

A journey begun in urgent desperation 

To find the beast of your blasphemation


It could not be considered a major altercation

It wasn’t even a heated conversation 

Yet, your words began a reverberation

Even now, threatening your vilification

So very lightly came your defamation

My soul recoiled in its horrification 

The total lack of any veneration

Held me in the thrall of fascination 

For never, even in my wildest imagination 

Could one believe such obvious violation 

Thus producing vehement consternation 

And it’s corresponding revelation


This erodes the very foundation

Bringing into ultimate consideration

Whether there should be a continuation 

Of what is now a tenuous relation

This must be included in the factorization 

Surely it is relevant in the overall equation

And will require tedious divination 

With hours of cross examination 

Designed to understand the implication

Of your freely offered improvisation 

To give my soul final authorization 


Perhaps you would give consideration

Because of the severity of the situation

Mayhaps you would change your location

As you can now see the correlation 

The causality of your interpretation 

Your soul bordering eternal damnation 

Surely you can see the implication 

And the necessity of a different destination 

Requiring only a complete repudiation 

And therefore subsequent colonization 

Halting the eminent deterioration 

Bringing about friendships revitalization 


After all, the dress is obviously black and blue


© Ron Simpson Jr.