Thursday, October 14, 2004

Her life as a prison biotch

I just heard the most incredulous news rumor.

Martha Stewart is considering writing a book about her prison experience. WHAT ?? She will be staying at a federal country club prison for insider trading which netted her a tidy sum of money. For her illegal activities, she was slapped on the wrist. Now, she wants to make money off of her punishment for making money illegally.

Wake up people. She will be at this Club Fed for 5 months. 5 Months !! She isn't going to be there long enough to have any prison memories. What is she going to write about? Will there be a chapter on the difference in her toilet paper at home compared the cheap federal prison kind? Perhaps she will do a chapter on the thread count of her prison bed ware. I wonder if the mess hall silverware will be to her liking. Chapter 4: Should there be designer inmate uniforms to promote a better feeling among prisoners?

I have found the new money maker for the rich and famous. Make a buncha money, do something illegal or stupid, and then write a book about your punishment/recovery. You know what will be the saddest thing of all? IDIOTS will buy the book. It will sell. There will be morons standing in line to offer her comfort for her ordeal while plinking down their money so she can buy more stocks to make more money on by indulging in other illegal insider trading. That would be just right. Stupidity should cost money. If you are dumb enough to buy a book by a diva convicted of a crime about her time in Club Fed, you deserve to be without the $27.95. Heck, buy 3 copies. Buy a dozen. Give them as Christmas gifts. Get one for me. I could use the fire starting paper for my fireplace or the liner for my python cage.

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