I have been reading several of the blogs I try to read on a regular basis. One was lamenting the end of a relationship and wondering how it got to the point at which it broke. I have been in several relationships which didn't work forever. I don't know it all, but I do know a thing or seven.
A relationship is like two people walking with a large rubber band holding them in sync. There are times in the relationship that the rubber band is stretched tightly between the two but that gentle (or sometimes not so gentle) pull of the band keeps either from straying to far from the other. As long as both progress in a fairly mutual pace, the strain is minimal. That kind of give and take is normal in any relationship.
The problem in most relationships is when one stops progressing or decides to go in an opposite direction. That strain will cause the rubber band to snap and break. That generally leaves one or both parties somewhat confused, as each sees the direction they are taking as the normal progression of their inner actions. They cannot, for the life of them, understand why the other would be confused or surprised.
It can never be stressed enough in any relationship (family, work, romantic, or otherwise) that the key is, and will always be, communication. Why are we surprised when some action of ours startles those around us? It is because we have not been communicating our feelings or intents. When we are shocked by the actions of a loved one, it is because there has been a break down in communication.
The communication level between Tammy and I just amazes me. We talk about anything and everything. We talk online (email), on the phone (cells when we are at the same store in different parts .. Sometimes), in person, and through longing looks and glances. We rarely miss any opportunities to talk. That is not to say there aren't times that she or I will hold back some insignificant piece of info or something that one does that bugs the other, but most of those are minors. Eventually, minors get promoted to majors if they are left unrelated. Fortunately for us, very few minors are ever allowed to become majors.
Even our perfect (or so y'all say) relationship has its bumps in the road. But communication makes a great shock absorber.
Just my twisted take.
A relationship is like two people walking with a large rubber band holding them in sync. There are times in the relationship that the rubber band is stretched tightly between the two but that gentle (or sometimes not so gentle) pull of the band keeps either from straying to far from the other. As long as both progress in a fairly mutual pace, the strain is minimal. That kind of give and take is normal in any relationship.
The problem in most relationships is when one stops progressing or decides to go in an opposite direction. That strain will cause the rubber band to snap and break. That generally leaves one or both parties somewhat confused, as each sees the direction they are taking as the normal progression of their inner actions. They cannot, for the life of them, understand why the other would be confused or surprised.
It can never be stressed enough in any relationship (family, work, romantic, or otherwise) that the key is, and will always be, communication. Why are we surprised when some action of ours startles those around us? It is because we have not been communicating our feelings or intents. When we are shocked by the actions of a loved one, it is because there has been a break down in communication.
The communication level between Tammy and I just amazes me. We talk about anything and everything. We talk online (email), on the phone (cells when we are at the same store in different parts .. Sometimes), in person, and through longing looks and glances. We rarely miss any opportunities to talk. That is not to say there aren't times that she or I will hold back some insignificant piece of info or something that one does that bugs the other, but most of those are minors. Eventually, minors get promoted to majors if they are left unrelated. Fortunately for us, very few minors are ever allowed to become majors.
Even our perfect (or so y'all say) relationship has its bumps in the road. But communication makes a great shock absorber.
Just my twisted take.
1 comment:
I love the way we communicate.. I love the fact that we never let it get stretched to the breaking point.. our ability to feel each others moods and know before we know when there is something to talk about goes a long way in the way we communicate as well.. have a good day my love....
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