It finally caught me

The funk has finally caught up to me. As I drove to school today, I could feel it growing in my stomach. By the time I got there , it was just a formality. I told my principal that I was going home. I went to my room and fixed the lesson for the substitute and made a few notes. I stopped again at the principals office before leaving. Then I drove home.

When I got here, everyone was asleep. Kyle didn't go to school. He was still sick. Chella got up puking, so Tammy didn't send her to school either. Tammy was in the bed as well. I closed the door so not to disturb her.

It sucks. It isn't so much the being sick. I miss work. I have sick days. I won't miss any pay, but I miss the students. I miss the teaching. I miss the light.

It has been only a month and a half and I am hooked. I like this a lot more than I cared to admit going in. I kept the distance in my head. I protected myself from disappointment. It is not an easy job. It is every bit as challenging and then some, as my old job working with the tools. Then, I had a job to do and one apprentice to train. Now, I have one job to do and 22 apprentices to train. That is 22 minds developing at different paces. 22 different ideas about how to do, or not to do, what needs to be done. My job is to group them and mold them, collectively and individually.

I have been teaching in one form or another for the last 30 years. It still thrills me to see a student catch the idea. It is a drug. I am hooked.

One day missed, and I am crashing, lol