Friday, September 17, 2004

I know I am right

I can picture this actually happening. The room is filled with people. There are young folks and old folks. There are women and there are men. The rich and the poor attend this meeting. The chairs are in an ever widening circle. In the small hollowed out center of this mass is one person, a leader. One by one, a person stands and makes an announcement, followed by a brief but emotional confession, of sorts. In the interim between speakers, there is a sense of hesitancy. The leader gently urges the room to be open. He reminds them they are among friends. No one is here to judge anyone.
Slowly, almost painstakingly, a redhead stands. She greets the group. "Hi, my name is Tammy, and I am a right-oholic."
That's right, my friends. You have just been privy to the inner sanctum of Right-oholics Anonymous.

It is an insidious condition that causes those infected to compulsively correct the wrong ideas, wrong spelling, wrong grammar, or wrong actions of others. There is a gnawing inside them that causes them to fix all the things wrong in others lives. It doesn't matter if the wrong idea is completely inconsequential. If a person suffering from Right-oholism hears someone say that the moon is made of green cheese, they are hell bent to explain the physical makeup of the moon and how it is impossible that the moon be made of cheese, green or otherwise. It matters not at all, that your believing said fallacy will have no ill effect on their life or yours. They are driven by forces they cannot even comprehend themselves.
Some say it is a genetic condition. Some say it is environmentally contrived. Discovering the beginnings of the disease will go a long way in finding a cure. Until then, there are meetings. There are steps. There are partners.

Hold on. I'll be right back. Tammy wants to check my spelling.

Ok, I am back. You can help. You can host a fund raiser for Right-oholics Anonymous. You can make a donation. You can help defeat this condition .. in our lifetime.

Ok, who is next ?

No comments: