Chia Pet

Tammy is talking seriously, for the first time, about giving up Donovan. She feels that she doesn't have the time to really take care of him. It also hurts her wrist to keep him combed. He is mostly cut right now. Just his undercoat remains. He looks kinda like a miniature sheep of some sort. Maybe he looks like a lazy miniature mountain sheep kinda animal. Most of the time he is laying down somewhere. If he isn't laying down, he is running thru the house after Malcolm, barking that mutated goat bark he has. Honestly, he sounds like a hair-lipped goat or a defective seal. Then, there are the times that he is not sleeping or chasing and barking. In those times, he is taking a dump in front of our bedroom door. It is always hard and dry, a breeze to clean. REMEMBER If anyone attempting to give you a dog tells you that they are housebroken, slap them for lying right there on the spot.
Anyway, Tammy has asked some friends that might be interested if they are serious. If you want him, you can have him. He is quiet, lovable, gentle, and housebroken. He looks kinda like a Chia-Pet right now. I think I could shoot him with a couple tranquilizer darts of Curare and he could pass for one. Imagine it. You buy a Chia-Pet at a yard sale. You put it in the trunk with all your other 'can't live without what you couldn't stand anymore' treasures. After the 4th or 5th yard sale, you begin hearing a sound that isn't right. Your car is making one of those funny noises that means nothing or that the motor is about to fall out onto the pavement. "Maurah Maurah", the sound comes.
You pull over and shut off the engine. The sound continues. It can't be your drive train, you are stopped. It can't be the engine, it is off. It is coming from the trunk. It is a muffled mutated baby seal spirit come back to wreak revenge on everyone with a seal skin coat. You spring the trunk, expecting ghosts and demons, and faint when your newly purchased Chia-Pet bears it fangs and hair lip barks at ya.
There you are, on the side of the road, fainted, laying behind your car, with the victorious Chia-Pet lording over ya. Paramedics bring you around slowly. The news crews are there. It is splashed across the front page. WOMAN IN BABY SEAL SKIN COAT ATTACKED BY CHIA-PET. Your career in politics is over.

OHHHH, the humanity !!