Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Unapologetic

I was talking to a friend this morning when she began telling me about her relationship. She is head over with her husband, but he is not a devoted. She went into some detail about the relationship, and commented on Tammy's relationship and mine. She commented on how devoted we were to one another.

I remembered someone telling me years ago about how her spouse completed her. I never really understood that before. It is like the electricity and wiring that makes it possible for you to plug up a lamp or flip a switch and the light comes on. Most people will readily tell you they know there are wires inside the wall connecting the switch and the light, and electricity runs between them, but that is the extent of their knowledge.

When I look at a switch or outlet, I see the same thing you do, but my knowledge allows me to see more. I can see, in my mind, the working of the switch, the wiring, the flow, the completed path, and so forth. Most will tell you, based on some rudimentary learning, they know how a switch works, but the internal operation is a complete mystery to them.

I have loved before. I have loved deeply. I have loved passionately. I have given in love and received in love. This dedication/devotion is different. Don't misunderstand. I am not saying, in any shape or form, that previous love relationships were lacking in any way. They were not. They were as full and wonderful (for the most part) as they could be.

The difference wasn't in my partners, but in me. Perhaps, I wasn't able to receive as fully as I am now. Perhaps, I wasn't able to give as freely as I can now. I don't know. All I do know is that I feel complete when I am with her. I feel full. I feel I am receiving all the love I can possible take. I feel it flowing over me and through me. I can feel it as it flows outward toward my love. It is a difference other people can see. Onlookers often tell us, that it is obvious how much we are in love.

It is a great unapologetic feeling.

2 comments:

AVA said...

This is an inspiring post.
Congratulations. You are very fortunate.

TammyJ said...

Poet..

You complete the person I am in so many ways.. I was whole before you.. I wasn't complete.. I have never felt so free to return love so freely given to me..People see the love we have because even if we tried to not show it. It would shine through.. you are not just a part of every breath I take.. you are the air that sustains me.. I love you..

TJ