Monday, August 23, 2004

Arrrghhhhhhh, it's Monday

The cruel master of our lives spoke angrily this morning. It said, "Get up. Get up. Get up!!!!" The only thing worse than the alarm going off on Monday morning is when you forget to turn it off and it goes off on Saturday. On Saturday, it says, "Get up. Get up. Get up!!!!" For a second there, while it was going off, I contemplated the possibility that there had been a temporal time shift and everything had slid backwards in time two days and that it was actually Saturday all over again. It didn't work. I could not convince myself.

So, I rolled over, curled with Tammy, and wished her a Happy Birthday. It is angry water, breaking walls, and turning wheels day. The plan is to limit her doing much around the house today. I have put a load in the washer and a load in the dryer. She took Kyle to school (necessary, cuz she would be cleaning house if I were gone to do it). Chelsea is up, but achy, so we decided to force her to stay home from school. She did her litter box chore and then did the dishes. There is still a little more laundry duty for me. Is everything supposed to be pink ? I couldn't resist a little 'men don't know how to do laundry' humor. I mean, everyone knows that we do that just to be tossed out of the laundry room.

Of course, we can't stop her from doing anything. That would be a great birthday present. Happy Birthday honey, and for your birthday we want to show you how much we don't need you by doing it all ourselves. Here is your gift wrapped piece of worthlessness. So, in a twisted sort of way, letting her wash my dirty underwear gives her a sense of worthiness, a sense of being needed. Please, no accolades. It is the least I could do.

Guys, don't sweat the laundry stuff. They know we know how to do laundry. They do the same trick with the helpless act about fixing the sink or the toilet. It is all part of a healthy relationship. Fix the toilet. Be the hero. Screw up the laundry. Just go with it, man. Here is another shocker for ya. They can open jars too. (You didn't hear that from me.) Far be it from me to go against the traditional roles set thru the ages by men and women far wiser than I. Of course, there was that 5 year period when I lived alone. I did my own cooking, cleaning, laundry, toilet fixing, and jar opening. Fortunately, Tammy came along to save me.

The angry water, breaking walls, and turning wheels, by the way, is a trip to Comfort Suites in G'town (can't get too far away in case the police are called on the kids). The room has a jacuzzi whirlpool tub and the walls break away to make it part of the room. I won't extrapolate on the cost. I will just say it is sweet to have a son-in-law in hotel management. Thanks Chris.

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