Sunday, December 18, 2005

Welcome to the tightrope.

Why must raising children be such a tightrope walk?

We teach our children to defend themselves when it is necessary in word and, if unavoidable, deed. Then, we have to balance that by teaching them to respect those in authority over them. After all, in most accusations of wrongdoing, it is an adult in authority bring the accusation. Then we defend our children vehemently when we feel they are wrongly accused. We have a responsibility to our children to take their word on some things until we have evidence to support that they are lying to cover up a misdeed. Our children see the passion of our defense in their stead and know we are their champion. They also learn how to defend themselves, but not the place where they need to back off and let another fight for them. That is part of the tightrope walk for parents.

Children don't see the times that we hold our tongue, because we did just that. We didn't erupt into defense. We choose our battles. The kids see only the battles and think it is appropriate to use this defense every time.

We teach them to speak up for themselves and then we teach them to hold their tongue. We teach them to defend themselves and then teach them not to fight.

Growing up is all about taking your place on the tightrope.

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