Ripples

I grew up partially in the city and partially on the farm. Twice in my life, while growing up, we lived rurally. Once was in Winchester when I was in 4^th and 5^th grades. The second was in Woodford County, from the time I was a sophomore until I was married.

I remember throwing stones into the pond on one of the farms. The stone would impact the water and make an immediate splash. Then, if you were inclined to watch, you would see the ripples expanding outward in ever increasing circles. Depending on the size of the stone and the displacement of the water, the ripples could be small or large. They could extend a short way and dissipate or extend to the shore and even rebound.

Then there were the ripples created by the water from the splash hitting the water as well. These were always smaller and less intense than the ripples caused by the stone.

If you stayed and watched, you would see that the ripples expanded until they reached the edge of the body of water, and then they would rebound back and eventually converge on the very spot the stone entered the water. The stone was gone. It was no longer in sight. The ever expanding effect, however, was still evident.

Life is like that. The things we do are like a stone splashing in the water. There is an immediate effect like the splash. Then, the ripples begin to expand out from that splash.

Some thing we do create very few ripples. They affect only the immediate areas of our lives. I call these ‘low level personal’ decisions. They can include many different things from the simple to the complex, but generally only affect me. There are several different routes I can take to get to work. I can go old 60, or interstate 64, or Todds Road. Any of these will do almost the same thing. They will take me to my job. They don’t have lots of impact on my life. They could. If I have an accident on my way to work, would I have had an accident if I had taken one of the alternate routes?

Then, there are ‘moderate level decisions’. They affect me and those in my immediate family. They can include decisions regarding health and safety. They can include job decisions, housing decisions, and other stuff like that. They can affect us in moderate ways and sometimes major ways.

We are looking at houses now. One reason is that we are cramped where we live now. One of my rants is about the amassing of ‘stuff’. That is another blog on another day. Another reason we are looking is to be closer to work. Then, there is the ‘tadpole’ factor. (Tammy heard me call someone an ‘asshole’ on the cell phone one day as I was driving home [yes, I was using my Bluetooth handsfree] and thought I called them a ‘tadpole’ … so now, bad drivers and general jerks are called ‘tadpoles’)

Our TADPOLE is named John. You have noticed from other blog entries of mine and Tammy’s blog (www.troubleshandful.blogspot.com) the stories about John.

He was involved in an altercation with Chris on Halloween night, which involves a chokehold and a knife. John had Chris in a chokehold and Chris, fearing for his life, pulled his knife out and got free. The ripples from that have been expanding. Chris will have to deal with the consequences of his actions, as will John, eventually. John had some unexplainable stab wounds that would require Chris to be a contortionist to accomplish. Add to that, the harassment that John has perpetrated since the event, and he will have many converging ripples to contend with later.

I am not addressing the guilt or innocence of Chris. He was guilty of bad judgment. He is nineteen. Good judgment comes from experiences. Experiences come from bad judgments. Was this incident Chris’s fault? I don’t believe so.

We are living in the ripples of this act, however.

So, we are looking to move with this in mind. We were looking to move before this incident. We have intensified the search since it happened. Part of the problem is that the street upon which we live is a major thoroughfare between two main streets in Lexington. There is always traffic, both vehicular and foot traffic, going up and down out street. The kids love to hang out on the porch. There, they are exposed to all manner of people, both good and bad. I am ready to be somewhere we can hang out on the porch and not be interrupted by bums seeking cigarettes or drunks looking for the bank, of idiots on steroids looking to cause trouble (our tadpole.) I know that wherever we go, we face the possibility of crime. It is everywhere. I am just tired of it walking around on our porch.

We don’t really live in a bad area. Our neighbors are, for the most part, good people. There are several business owners on the sides of us and across the street. Behind us, however is a low rent area. Further down the road is the same situation. That is not to say that anyone that can’t afford high rent or house payments is inherently bad. There are criminals in the good neighborhoods as well. They just steal in classier places.

The decision on where to live is a vital one now. I do not want to move out of one hot spot and into another. We are investigating one particular house in a small town. We have talked to the neighbors and the mailman (well, the stand in mailman) and are confident that it is actually the quiet neighborhood we were led to believe it is. There are still factors to be determined. The chief indicators are that we are almost ready to make an offer, pending the collection of some data. (That sounds like a definite maybe.)

Anyway, that is the way my mind works when it comes to decisions. Where will the ripples go and what will happen when they converge back on me?

It is a simple complex process.