Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Always darkest ...

Last night, Tammy and I had gone to the bedroom to watch "House" on the TV there. We were snuggled on the bed. Yes, there is a difference between being 'in' the bed and 'on' the bed. Tammy was talking about the situation at hand. She is quite on edge about it all, and understandably so. What frustrates her the most is her inability to do anything about it. She has (mostly) accepted that this is not her fault. It is based on the actions of another adult. The fact that the other adult is her 19 year old son makes it more difficult. There are aspects about the case that will not be resolved even when Chris is released from jail, pending trial. One of those being that the judge says Chris is not allowed to live at our house upon release. John (the pretend victim) lives just 2 houses down. The Judge even commented that if we had Thanksgiving plans at the house, that Chris was not allowed to be there then either.

So, Tammy is tied up like a big knot. I told her to snuggle closer to me and let me be selfish. Let me have all your thoughts. Let me have all your attention. She told me that I could and did have all of her heart.

As we were talking, I told her that I could tell her that it was always darkest just before dawn. That is true. However, upon thinking more about the statement, it could be taken two ways. One, is that the dawn is just around the next bend, that light will break the horizon at any moment, and that things will look brighter and clearer. That is the optimistic view.

The other way to look at that, is that it is going to get a lot darker before it gets better. That is the pessimistic view.

Either way, I still feel in my heart that things will work out. The prosecution is already backing up. They say now that Chris used excessive force (meaning that they concede that this may have been an act of self defense.) I see a crumbling in their stand. We may be closer to the dawn than we thought.

Chris has another bail reduction hearing tomorrow. Prayers will be greatly appreciated. Depending on the outcome, more prayers and maybe donations may be needed.
Either way, remember, it is always darkest ....

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