The Decision

This was one

Of the hardest decisions 

I’ve ever had to make

You lingered

Between who you were

And where you prepared to go

I thought I was making the choice

Between keeping you here

(Purely selfish on my part)

Or letting you go to the place

You have spent most of your life

Getting prepared to live eternally

We were supplying your breath

And could continue to do so

It was life sustaining 

Although medically artificial 

You didn’t speak

You didn’t laugh

You didn’t reveal

The presence or absence 

Of the normal fire in your eyes

You breathed mechanically

Your heart kept beating

We collectively hoped

You were still in there 

Somewhere

But

There was a decision 

Which was required 

To keep you here

Or to let you go

Rationally

I knew the answer

Long before my heart knew

Or at least before it accepted

Then I realized

The real choice

Was to take you

Out of my hands

And place you 

In His hands

We discussed it as a family 

But it really wasn’t a discussion 

It was more of a confirmation 

Saying out loud what our hearts knew

The decision, still impossibly hard

Was to put you in His hands

It was the decision you had made

More than forty years earlier

Before the end of the next day

You made your journey with Him

While I would have loved you being here

And sharing these last thirteen years

I’ll still stand by your decision 

A decision we honored in your final days 

Thanks for making the decision 

Thanks for taking it out of my hands 

I still miss you, Dad

© Ron Simpson Jr. 

August 31, 2020