The Nutshell

Let me tell you a little of what has been going on in my life ...

At 13, I repented and was baptized. At 17, I was filled with His Spirit and felt His calling in my life. I ran from that for a while, but eventually accepted His will and a call into the ministry. At 19, I was three things that I said I would never be ... married, an electrician, and a preacher.

At 39, most of that came crashing down. I was still an electrician, but my marriage had crumbled due to mistakes on the part of myself and my wife. I left the ministry and the church. That was 10 years ago. Between then and now, health issues forced me to give up working as an electrician. I am now a teacher at a state technology school, teaching electricity to high school students.

Five years ago, I met and fell in love with Tammy. Three years ago in October 03, we were married.

So, here I was, teaching, married, but still estranged from God and his Church.

About 5 weeks ago, my father had surgery for a cancerous growth on his kidney. The kidney was removed. While recovering from the surgery, he developed a problem with fluid and breathing. He went downstairs for a test and while there, he suffered a respiratory arrest. He stopped breathing. His heart stopped for 8 minutes. The hospital resuscitated him. He was on a ventilator.

Over the next two weeks his condition improved and worsened. The Dr's said he might have mild to moderate brain damage. However, two weeks later, the Dr's painted a much more dismal grim picture. They now said that it was a major brain injury. There was no foreseeable time when he might be able to be off the ventilator. We were faced with grave decisions. Mom, and the six children discussed this and decided as a whole to remove the ventilator and issue a DRN order. That was Wednesday, March 7th, at 11:30 am.

On Thursday, March 8th at 11:15 am, Dad went home to be with God. All six children were in the room. Four of the spouses were there. Mom was there. Several of the grandchildren were there as well. We were singing, "Come home, come home, ye who are weary, come home.."

Such was the life of this man that over 1000 were at the visitation on Friday. 110 flower arrangements were sent. Over 400 were at the funeral. There was one very special guest there. God came. His Spirit moved across the service. There was singing and shouting. There was worship. Dad pastored a church for 39 years and was very active in ministering in churches around the state until the dad he went into the hospital for surgery.

Right now, his mother (92) lingers at the point of death. She had a stroke while Dad was in the hospital and doesn't know he is gone.

Out of this sorrow filled time, the sun refuses to stop shining. Between the Funeral on Saturday, and the committal service on Monday, God worked mighty works. I am back home in the church. His Spirit washed over my soul and He opened His arms to welcome me home. Tammy was filled with His Spirit on that Sunday and was baptized on the following Tuesday.

In one week, everything important changed. Out of soil I thought was barren, a new flower grows. My grief has been borne by the wonderful Spirit of God. On Wednesday, the world seemed so dark. On Thursday, it got darker still. On Sunday, however, the Son/sun arose.

In the Bible, David had a son that was dying. David sat in sackcloth and ashes and fasted for the life of his son. For seven days, he fasted. His son died. The servant was afraid to tell David, but did. When David heard the news, he got up, washed, anointed himself, and worshipped. He went home and prepared a meal and ate. His servants were perplexed. They asked. While the child was alive you wept and fasted, but now that the child is dead, you worship and eat. David replied, "Now he is dead, wherefore should I fast. Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."

I cannot bring my Dad back to me, but I can go to where he has gone.