Broken

You said we were one

We were joined together

Nothing could get in on us

What I found in reality

Nothing could escape

All your anger and rage

I carried it as well

All your fear and loathing

Became part of me

The happiness you first saw in me

Slowly evaporated

In the heat of your jealousy

One by one

You built new walls

Closing me in

Making my space

Tighter and tighter

Less and less I could do

Within the confines of your love

Or what you called love

I can fix this

I kept hearing myself say

Everything I fixed

Broke two more

I tried to be only for you

Against my nature

Giving myself to no one else

The more I capitulated

The less it was enough

And it all stayed inside

Until

The day I broke

And the sadness spilled out

I squeezed my heart

Over and over

And more blackness oozed

The self loathing came out

The fear flowed out from me

Much more than I realized

I had held within

As more darkness flowed out

Happiness flowed in

Self esteem found a way inside

Selflessness found a home

In my refurbished heart

The once blackened windows

Were spotless again

My love, formerly a laser focus

Became a floodlight

I’ll keep this heart

Broken but whole

To give out as it flows in

I’ll still be wrong

From time to time

There will still be sadness

But without the walls

I’ll take the sadness

And squeeze it out

To make room for the happiness

Sans walls, sans fear

Love overflowing

© Ron Simpson Jr