The hardest words
I thought I knew the hardest words
When they told me my daughter was ill
The doctors did all they could, but to no avail
She grew weaker every day
I prepared my heart for the hard words
I never wanted to hear
Words surrounded me
Words of comfort and words of dread
Every new test brought words of optimism
Every new result brought the words of despair
The words came and went
But the hardest words still loomed ahead
I heard of a healer passing through the town
He and His followers were crowded by a mob
I heard He held healing in His very touch
I can’t recall now whether it was faith or desperation
That drove me down the streets
Drawing closer to the crowd and the healer in the midst
Words surrounded me as I drew close
The crying of the mob seeking his favor and attention
Everyone was trying to get closer
Just to touch even the hem of the garment He wore
Then suddenly I was standing before Him
And saying what I thought were the hardest words
“Lord, Come and heal my daughter
She lies at the point of death”
Even as I spoke the words
They tore through my heart
To speak them aloud seemed to give them strength
And they became the hardest words I had ever said
He healed others as we traveled
Time seemed to drag as we moved
Then came the messenger I never wanted to see
With the words I never wanted to hear
He held them in his mouth waiting to spill
The hardest words, “Your daughter is dead”
I never thought there could be harder words
Until Jesus turned to me and spoke
“Be not afraid, only believe”
For months, possibly even years
I watched my daughter slowly die
Every doctor’s words were harder than the last
As one by one they extinguished each word of hope
And every hard word became a brick
That built a wall around my heart
Now, the messenger, with the final brick
Brought me the words I thought I feared the most
I had built this dread in the silent place in my heart
Where the words dared not be whispered
Where, there way down deep, still lived a small hope
That was broken irrevocably by these few words
How can He say to me now
“Only believe”
For years I have believed
And watched that belief stripped one layer at a time
For months, through the endless procession of physicians
Each taking a piece of my belief as they shook their heads
And now that the final piece has been swept away
He tells me to ‘only believe’
These are the hardest words I have ever heard
“Only believe”
Today, as I watch my daughter playing with her friends
As I watch her comb and braid her doll’s hair
As I see her giggle at the glance of some boy in her direction
The hardest words still echo inside me
“Only believe”
I give these words to you, today
In the middle of your trial
In the midst of your despair
Surrounded by all the other words
That seek to rob you of your faith
“Only believe”
Hold on to the hardest words
“Only believe”
Ron Simpson, Jr.
December 6, 2009
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