touched by sadness

Someone I know from here (some would say I didn't really know, but whatever) posted about their neighbor (someone I really do not know) losing their child. She was 3 months old and half of a set of twins. The loss was apparently unexpected (as if any loss, expected or otherwise, is easier than another.) Any time you hear such news of sadness and are not somehow touched, you have passed beyond your own humanity. Part of being a human being is to be touched by the sadness and suffering of all humanity. I fully realize there is cruelty and misery in this world that I will never see, hear, or know about, and can do even less about it. However, we are all made less if we do not care about the suffering of others and if we do not have some place in us that wishes to alleviate that suffering in some way. When I hear about it in places I cannot reach, I send my prayers. Some will say that this is just my way of alleviating my sadness and frustration. I say, "Whatever." You think what you wish and I will believe what I wish.

Anyway, in the middle of the night when I read the post, I wrote this:

Goodbye too soon

How do you say goodbye so soon after saying hello?
How do you ever again look into the eyes of a child and not see them?
How will you ever hear a child’s laugh or cry and not hear them?
How do you walk past a swing ever again without seeing them?
How do you see a bike with training wheels without seeing them?
How do you drive by a school at classes end without seeing them?
How do you look at prom dresses or tuxedos without seeing them?
How do you think about a wedding without seeing them?

It is really over simple to say
And very difficult to imagine doing
But, you don’t
They will live in your heart forever
They will at times travel to your imaginings
They will try to escape a bit in your tears
But there will always be plenty of them inside

No one can truthfully tell you they know how you feel
Most cannot even imagine, even if we wanted to, how it feels
Even less are those who can relate
Less even than these, are those that can empathize
And there is one who can see inside your heart
Can see your pain and the depth of it
Can hear the cries that don’t make it out of your lips
Can see the tears that don’t make it to your cheeks
Can hear the words you only scream in your mind

He will be your strength
He will be your courage
He will be your faith
He will be your believing

I will not insult you by pretending to know the answer
While I may know many answers
I do not know the answer to that question
I will never be able to truthfully tell you “why?”
I will try to say the smooth soothing words
I will speak with all the gentleness I can muster
I will hold your hand
I will cry with you

When your day becomes tomorrow
And tomorrow moves on to other tomorrows
Sadness moves on to dullness
And dullness moves into acceptance
You will learn to say goodbye
Too soon

Ron Simpson, Jr.
March 25, 2009

thankful

Looking around, I can see so many things to be thankful about.

I am thankful for the seven children I am involved in raising. I am thankful that I do not agree with everything they do. This means they have developed their own distinct and ,at time, differing opinions.

I am thankful for my growing relationship with TJ. I love her more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will love her tomorrow. I am thankful we do not allow our differences and debates to interfere with the basis of who we are and the love we share.

I am thankful for my home. I am thankful for my aches and pains, as they remind me that I am. indeed, still alive. I am thankful for the love of dear friends. I am thankful for a cluttered life. I, too, am thankful for mud puddles, Heather. I am thankful to know a grace full and loving God.

I am thankful for all my friends. I am thankful for the ones I have physically embraced. I am thankful for the ones I have only cybernetically embraced. I am thankful for all my friends in all my categories. (work, community, church, childhood, family .. etc)

I am thankful for my 4 sisters and 1 brother and the army of in-laws and nieces and nephews that surround my life. The immediate family numbers in the 50's.

I am thankful I don't have to remember all the things for which I am thankful. We could be here a long time.

So, here, is to good friends and family. Here, is to short naps after eating too much. Here, is to too much noise in too small a space. Here, is to me, Here, is to you. Here, is to giving thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving !

Out of the ordinary

Today is November 22. Tammy said I was always asking what the date was, so she got me this calendar. As you can see, it has blocks that you change daily. This reminds you of the date (except when you forget to change them for a few days.)

The problem with this is that once my brain becomes accustomed to it being there, it sees it, but doesn't see it. Case in point: Has a friend ever dyed their hair or shaved a beard, and you knew something was different, but couldn't put your finger on what it was. That is because we see things without seeing them. To combat this, I do what you see in the picture. I put the numbers in sideways, or upside down, or sideways reversed, etc. This way my brian registers that something isn't quite right and forces me to take notice. We notice the things out of the ordinary.

That being said, I want to give a shout out to my blogging buddies. Their 'out of the ordinary' senses of humor (or sense of humors) keep me noticing the things around me. I want to thank them for sharing their lives and showing the commonalities and the extra ordinariness of simple life (as if 'simple' and 'life' could ever coexist in the same reality.)

This is not a blog award, per say, but here is to Octamom, Debbie, Whitney, Red, Heather, Peg, Gill, Tricia, and Marilyn for all the laughs and provoking thoughts. Y'all have, at various times, lifted my heart, made me smile, made me laugh out loud, made me cry, inspired me to write, inspired me to believe, and filled my days.

Thanks for the stories that bridge the miles, cross the oceans, and bring your families into my homes. I hope I have done a smidgen of what you have done for me. You are my 'out of the ordinary' friends.