The Price of Tears
Steel yourself
be prepared
there are trying days
on the horizon
Sound advice
it would seem
life is hard
then it’s harder
For all the joy
life brings
it can also bring
a hardness—
wanted or not
Sometimes
that austerity
sneaks up on you
without warning
There are times
I feel too much
it overwhelms
and my heart closes
in self defense
No tears
no weeping
no crying
no issuance
from a stony heart
You were there
holding me
when I forgot
how to cry
When the tears
went missing
I searched
for the old pathways—
the ones grief
used to walk
without hesitation
I found only
dry riverbeds
and the faint memory
of water
I pressed my fingers
to my eyes
as if pressure
could summon
what feeling
no longer knew
how to deliver
There is a cost
to endurance
no one warns you about—
the toll booth
you don’t see
until you are already
through it
And still
you stayed
quiet as dusk
beside me
Not asking
for tears
not asking
for softness
only offering
your presence
like a hand
on a locked door
There are nights
when the silence inside me
grows louder
than any grief
I can name
When the absence of tears
feels heavier
than the tears ever did
I lie still
listening
for the old tremble
the familiar swell
the first warm sting
that used to rise
without permission
But nothing comes—
only the echo
of a feeling
I can’t quite reach
It is strange
how the body remembers
what the heart
no longer practices
Strange how forgetting
can feel like failing
even when it is survival
And in the quiet
you breathe beside me
unhurried
unafraid
as if my stillness
is not a warning
but a language
you already know
You do not ask
for the flood
or the breaking
or the softening
You simply stay
long enough
for me to realize
that even stone
is held
by something
© Ron Simpson Jr.
