Setting the bar too high and infection

Seems odd, but then again, it was an odd day.

Yesterday, Tuesday was primary election day in KY, so I got half a day off with pay to go vote. I actually voted before going to work, so my afternoon was clear. The night before, being aware of this, Tammy suggested that I could come to her work, pick her up, and take her to lunch. That seemed like a great idea.

I left my job at 11am. She got lunch around 1pm. Before I met her, I made a few stops. I stopped at K-Mart to get a cheap toss-able tablecloth (I had a plan.) I looked all over and was about to give it up, when I got to the front and saw the clearance shelves. There they were, Table clothes for $2. I grabbed one and noticed there was some perfume there as well. One of them was Raspberry Ice. (Tammy loves raspberry.) I got the cloth and the perfume and was on my way to my next stop. $9.44

DollarTree. Everything for a dollar or less. There, I got a small bud vase, a crystal candle holder, a pale lavender/pink taper candle, and a pack of lighters. $3.71

China Wall. There I got two combinations of sesame chicken, one extra hot for me. I picked up plastic-ware, duck sauce, soy sauce, and was on my way to Lexington. $14.95

In Lexington, I went to Ashland Florist. I wanted pink daisies. They are Tammy's favorite flowers. They didn't have any pink, but did have a very pale lavender. That would work just fine, considering the candle was a pink/lavender. $1.59

Next stop: Thornton's. I got two cold Diet Dew's. $2.95

$32.66 since I left work, and I was finally on my way to see my hunny.

I called her as I turned on the street where she works and told her I was on my way. She asked where we were going. I told her I would keep that one a secret for now. I pulled up behind the building as she was coming down the stairs. She greeted me at the truck and asked where we were going (persistent, ain't she?) I told her what I had. She loved it. We set up the table and sat down to eat, much to the delight of her co-workers. Several asked what the occasion was. I told them it was Tuesday, and that only happens once this week. It was a great lunch. Priceless.

Her boss (Frank) told her later that I was setting the bar too high for other men. Aaron, a gay guy that Tammy works with said he was developing a crush on me. He wondered if that would bother Tammy or I. she assured him that it wasn't going to bother either of us. We are both very secure in our relationship and realize that other people can like us, have crushes on us, or even lust after us, without affecting how we feel about each other. It only becomes an issue if that person acts on those feelings. Then, it isn't a jealousy issue as much as it is a respect issue. Respect us, respect our relationship, and don't try to interfere with it.

Now, on to the infection. When I got home my tooth was hurting. It had been coming and going for a couple days, but a lot more mildly. Today, it was talking loudly. I decided to lay down for a bit. When I got back up, when Tammy got home, it was swollen until my eye was almost closed. I called my DR because I have Mitral Valve Regurgitation and infection is very dangerous to me. To put it in the simplest terms, one of my valves leaks a little and blood pools behind the valve inside my heart. If I get an infection in my bloodstream, it will pool in my heart and it can kill me. It isn't likely, but it is possible. With that in mind, I called my DR. They suggested that I go to the ER and get a shot of antibiotics.

We went to the local hospital and went to the ER. The nurse was great. We chatted about politics (it was election day) while she got my vitals. Then back to the admitting clerk. She was nice. Then back to a room to wait. The DR was cool, checked me over, and concurred with my DR. Another nurse came in with a hypodermic and the meds. I pulled up my sleeve. She smiled and shook her head, no. She then pointed to her bottom. OH ! One of those shots. I exposed my cheek and she plunged it right in. It eventually got a little sore, but that passed. They gave me a prescription and we were on our way.

This morning it was swollen a little more than last night, but went down during the day. Tammy tried her best to get me to stay home, but today and tomorrow are our last days with students. I have finals to give (school rules) and the park job to finish. Someone asked what happened to my face. I told them that Tammy said, 'shut up' and I thought she said 'get up' and the rest was history. It was still a fun day. We will finish up finals and the park tomorrow and then I will have no students until August.

I was slightly worried that I wouldn't be able to sing on Sunday. I was talking with a little lisp. I can hear it now, O thay can you thee, .... However, I sang it this morning in the truck on the way to work and it sounded fine, no lithp.

And there ya have it.

splotches and other fun things

It has been an interesting week.

There has been a cold, an allergic reaction, a day of sleep, a cancelled cookout, and a Bible Study.

I got up on Monday with a cold (sniffle sniffle), but just a slight one. I still went to work. On Monday night, as the cold threatened to get worse, I decided to take a cold remedy. The cough was trying to keep me up all night, and that wasn't a good thing. So, I took some pills my wife gave me for cough and congestion. In the night, I was not coughing but not sleeping right either. Tuesday, I get up and leave for work after taking one more pill. My hands are itching. My palms are itching. My lips are tingly.

I stop for gas a couple miles from work and see in the mirror that my lips are swollen slightly. I call work, get gas, and head home. On the way, Tammy calls. I tell her what is going on (sorta.) She tells me that she has benadryl in her purse. We meet in the middle and she gives them to me. By this time, my arms have started to splotch. I am breaking out in hives.

I get home, take the benadryl and sleep away the most of the day. By Wednesday I am good to go. I am still slightly itchy, but manageable.

Thursday, I go to a State Committee meeting. We are developing a Career Pathways document for HS Counselors.

Tuesday night, I did the Bible Study thing. It was OK. I was still nervous, but I think I handled it well.

We were to have a cookout on Friday for the Students. One of the other employees picked up the meat for which my club paid. He was supposed to bring it on Friday. I get there and he isn't there yet. He is supposed to be at work an hour before me. I call his house (40 miles away) and he is still in bed. He is sick. His wife will bring the meat, but cant leave home until she takes daughter to school. The meat will not get to our school until second period. So, I postponed the cookout till Monday.

That was the short version of my week. How was yours ?

mothers day

That special day

When I consider all you have done
Throughout all of my life
And continue to do as each day comes
The idea of a special day for you
Make perfect sense

It is impossible to keep count
Of the knowing and reassuring smiles
No way to measure the courage
That existed because I knew
You were behind me, somewhere

You have done infinitely more
Than wiped my nose or bandaged my knees
Your support has made the difficult easier
And the impossible manageable

You smiled, reassured, and held my hand
Through my pains and heartaches
You hid the tears that you refused to cry
At least, in front of me

You didn’t hide your disappointment
When I was wrong
And believe me, I was wrong many times
You still held to the belief
That I would learn and you would wait

You never made it right
When it was wrong
But when it was right
You were my strongest ally

You made all my successes a mountaintop
You made my failures stepping-stones
For these, and a million other reasons
You have a special day to say
How much I appreciate and love you

That day
That special day
Is everyday

Happy Mothers Day, Mom

Ron Simpson Jr.
May 12, 2007

life goes on

It is just one day past 2 months since Dad passed away. I read an article once about all the euphemisms we use to prevent ourselves from having to use the "D" word. Rest assured, I know Dad died. Saying 'passed away' does nothing to ease the pain of that.

I am amazed at how quickly we fall into the new routine of living without him. For me, it is because I am aware every day that he is gone. I don't find myself seeing something funny and thinking how much I want to share that with him. I know that I can't do that. Perhaps some day, I will forget that he is gone and think, "I can't wait to tell him." It wont happen this week.

In one week (subtle gear shift) I will be doing something I haven't done (formally) in about 10 years. I will be teaching Bible Study at the church. Our Pastor likes to involve the laity in the bible studies by letting everyone have a chance at doing it. Next week is my week. I must admit, I am a bit nervous.

Now, teaching is what I do every day. I teach electricity to my students day in and day out. A friend of 30 years, now the assistant Business Manager of the Union to which I belong, stopped by yesterday while I was talking to a small class of 5th graders. He brought me an absentee ballot for our union elections. He watch me interact with the kids and explain our program to them. He commented that I had found my calling. Teaching is one of my passions.

Still, I am a bit nervous. we will see how it goes.

We have 10 more instructional days left in this school year. Then it is a month of work at the school, a month of work away from the school, and 2 weeks vacation. then the next year starts and we do it all over again.

You are all invited to come to Applebee's Stadium on May 27th, at 2:05 PM, to hear me sing the National Anthem at a Lexington Legends ballgame. It was a blast last year.

More to come .....

Wowser

It has actually been a week since I blogged ???

What has happened in that week that robbed me of my time for blogging ?

Well ......

This week has been CATS testing week window number two. It is the make-up week for those that missed a day the previous week. The students are all still out of whack. Whenever you do something to mess up their routine, it throws them all off. Weekends seem to do that too. One of my students told me once, on a Monday, that they shouldn't have to work because it is Monday. My response? In the real world, work happens on Monday. It happens on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays too. Some folks even work on Saturdays and Sundays. Let's start learning that here.

The dreaded BOX had to be completed on the 1st of May for my self assessment. I turned it into my principal last week for her to check it. She did, and gave me a list of the things I needed to add to it. This week, I did that. Based on the documentation they require, I got 81 points out of a possible 84. That is 4 points possible in 21 categories. My box score, the average of all those, with 4 being perfect, was 3.86. Pretty good I think. One of the other teachers offered me $50 to help him with his.

We are finally released to go to the park to finish our project.

One of my students came to me to ask what he needed to do to pass my class, with 13 days of school left. He has a 34 in my class because he skips and doesn't work. I don't understand those that do that. I understand the goofing off part. I did that, but I did it after I had the first half in with an A and could afford to get lax. I actually graduated 3 months early because I was counting my credits to see what I could flunk and still graduate. To my surprise, I had enough credits to graduate already. Bye-bye High School.

At 17, while most of my same aged friends were juniors in HS, I was a freshman at UK. Here it is 32 years later, I am nearing 50, and I am back in college at Eastern Kentucky University. I am 31 hours toward my Associates degree (64 hours) in Technical Education. I am taking 6 hours over the summer. Oh yeah, that is also what I have been working on this week. I had a 5 page term paper due, a portfolio due, and a final test to take. I don't know about my scores on the term paper or portfolio, but I do know I made an 88 on the final (took it online today.) That is a B and I had a B on the midterm, so I think I am ok.

Tuesday evening was the final night of the night class I was teaching to adults. Wednesday evening was a ribbon cutting ceremony at Bluegrass Community Technical College (Leestown Campus.) Thursday was the final meeting of my CTE261 Foundations of Technical Education class. Yes, it was a busy week.

Whats been going on around here

Life is decidedly busy these days.

School is, or was, in CATS testing this past week. I had students only in the afternoons. These students were wired after sitting and taking a 3.5 hour test. By the time they got to me, they were useless as education goes. Add to that, that two of our teachers were out at the New Teachers Institute Follow up and you have students that are not in the class they are registered for either. I had automotive and welding students mixed in with mine.

Then there is "THE BOX" ... The box is our program assessment box. It is the way the state proves we are doing our jobs. It has 21 files with 3 to 7 folders in each one. Every folder must contain some specific documentation to show a committee that we are actually teaching the kids, communicating with parents, utilizing community resources, working with an advisory committee, adhering to their recommendations, working with student organizations, using guest speakers, integrating with the academic teachers, writing lesson plans, both daily, weekly, and monthly, designing syllabi's, using technology in teaching, holding open houses, working with the community, teaching safety, technology, employability skills, and problem solving skills, along with dozens of other things that we, as instructors, are required to do.

The problem is, we are doing those things, but the documenting of all of that requires as much time as teaching. We are losing teaching time (we do not get a free planning period like the HS does) because we are constantly printing off proof that we are teaching the rest of the time. I understand accountability. I understand that the state wants proof we are doing our job (well, besides kids passing our classes and passing state tests about the things we are teaching.) Somewhere, however, there has to be a middle ground where teaching doesn't suffer for the sake of paperwork.

We have spent this week working on getting those boxes in shape for our 'self assessment' that has to be completed by May 1. The committee doesn't visit us until the start of next school year. The kicker: only documentation less that a year old is usable. So, half of the stuff we are doing now, will not be allowed to count by then.

The good news: We only had one funeral this week. Our next door neighbor that died on Thursday was buried on Tuesday.

Looks like my summer vacation (June 15 to August 1) is filling up with work. That work includes one week with a contractor (that the state pays me for,) one week in New Orleans (High Schools That Work Conference .. also state pays for,) almost a week in Louisville (State Education Conference .. mandatory attendance .. so they have to pay me,) and a few other small things that will whittle my 6 weeks off down to 2 weeks off. That will be nice.

That's some of what has been happening in my world.

Oh yeah, we traded the Bravada in for a Cadillac, so Tammy has a new ride. (Pics will be forthcoming.)

Overflowing

I wrote this last night. I am still not sure I like it or not.

As They Might

Through my life I have walked into and out of darknesses
It is as natural as breathing the breaths I borrow
Part of the normal ebb and flow of life
Fully knowing, the same life that exudes joy, reeks of sorrow

Loving someone is like plowing a furrow
Turning the fallow earth, exposing the hidden tender soil
Opening up for the magnificence of love and all it brings
However, one of the tagalongs carries the weeping of deaths toil

How true those words of loving and losing
Being the more desirable than of not loving at all
But sometimes the losing is without malice or intent
Sometimes it is merely the end of the breaths that fall

Your time has come and passed
That I may know and hold you real
Now I hold the precious memories
And laugh and cry with you as ever still

Longer times, I can now pretend
In your absence that life goes on unabated
This heart will not be fooled with memories,
Precious as they are, they will not keep me sated

This pain has confirmed once again
Just how prized is this life gained
I will open these furrows for the seedlings
And welcome the joys and sorrows rained

Sharpen that blade, sower of seeds
Shove the plow into my heart
Plant the seeds of joy and woe
Give to them each, their sacred part

In the darkness, and in the light
And let them grow, as they might.

Ron
April 20, 2007

And the rain continues ...

Today at 1 pm, we attended the funeral of my great aunt Gladys. She was 84 years old. When I was just a kid (early teens and such) I used to stay with her and Uncle Carl when Mom and Dad were out of town at church conferences. Her son, Terry Dale, was about the same age as me. we reminisced about those days a bit today. It was bittersweet to see some family I hadn't seen for so many years.

I left school early to go to the funeral, but had to be back for a staff meeting and open house. While I was in the staff meeting, Tammy called with the news that our next door neighbor, Mrs Vivian, had passed away this morning. She was 56 years old.

I don't know if I have any more tears left in me.

I do know this, if I have to listen to "go rest high on that mountain" one more time while looking at a dead relative, I will go strangle Vince Gill myself. I love the song, but I am so tired of funerals.

It is most fortunate that this numbness still hangs on. The overwhelming sadness and darkness threatens to overtake us all. Only the tender strength of God sustains me.

My friends and co-workers are becoming afraid to be around me though. I think they are afraid something will jump on them.

I will persevere.

Nothing is going to hold me back.

There may be a catch in my throat sometimes, there may be a falter in my step, but I will still go on.

too funny not to pass along

from: New York, NY to: London - Google Maps

Click 'get directions"

type in New York, NY in the first box and London in the second one

scroll down to step 23

Mind wars with the unarmed

OK .. we have a guy at work that likes to be involved in some way in everything that goes on, even if it is only to complain about it. In most things, he does not contribute anything useful. He just likes to feel that he is somewhat in charge. Mind you, he won't take a principals job because then being in charge requires responsibility. He like to work in the background, fouling things up, so he can deny everything when the caca hits the fan.

Anyway, this week I have been messing with his mind. He hates to think that something might be going on that he doesn't know about. Monday, I came to work in a pair of olive khaki's instead of my usual jeans. I also had on a nice collared button up pullover shirt. He went crazy. He wanted to know why I was so 'dressed up'. I didn't give him any reason. That was just fuel for the fire.

Tuesday comes and I show up for work, again in dress khaki's and a real nice dress shirt. He is all over himself trying to figure out what is happening. Again, I am a clam about the reasons behind my new style of dress. One of the other teachers tells him it is most likely because I am teaching an adult class that evening. The suffices him a bit. He has already mentioned it to several of the staffers in his fishing expedition. The others that he has queried have come to me as well to tell me about it.

Wednesday (today) and I show up for work in black dress slacks, a burgundy dress shirt, a fancy necktie, and dress shoes. He is amazed. He takes my picture. He is beside himself trying to figure it out. It was hilarious to watch him work his mind trying to figure it out. Finally, this afternoon late it becomes too much for him. He has quizzed everyone he can think of asking. He even asked my students while I was out of the school having an electrical project the students have been working on inspected. My students were tight lipped, even though they knew what was going on. So, in desperation, he finally has to ask me.

I tell him it is just because I felt like dressing nice. that is actually the true reason. the whole 'messing with his head' was just a nice bonus. I told him tomorrow I would probably be in jeans, t-shirt, and a skull and crossbones dew-rag. Who knows, I might be.

How has your week gone ?

Heart In Heart

There is a mountain in my life
Comprised of memories of you,
Today, sadness shrouds that mountain like a fog
As it no longer continues its familiar growth;

I know that most of the sadness will pass
And the fog will become a cloud
Wisping by from time to time
Driven by intimate winds;
I know that memories will be added still

In conversations with friends and family
About the ways you touched their lives
As we marvel about your journey;

But today, I am lost in this fog
I cannot see that happy tomorrow
Without you in the middle of it
Part of my tether is gone;

Nothing is the same as it was yesterday
This fog obscures the once brilliant hues
It seeks to hide the happiness we shared
But that happiness will not be denied;

Even now, it valiantly struggles to be heard
It refuses to give its place to the fog
In places here, and places there
It chases away the encroaching murkiness;
Like shining pin pricks
In the blanket of gloom
Growing and adding the more
Your love, your happiness, your joys
Scattering the darkness of dusk;

To those that never met you
You are a name in a well told story
You exist in the fleeting of the tale
But to those of us living with the mountain
You are still here as our continual partner
Where we once walked hand in hand
We will now stroll, heart in heart

Ron

April 8, 2007

Beyond The Door

Living is a powerful force that does not go quietly
Such is our affinity that it must be torn from us
It holds a value beyond measure or counting

White knuckled, we dearly grasp it in our failing fingers
Because living, however difficult, is the reality we know,
We struggle to hold on to its final vestiges;
We will exhaust all our reserves of energy.
We will spend the final moments of our life
In our fruitless efforts to remain on this side;
When we release that last thread and fall
We find that His warm hands have been there
Waiting to catch us all along;

"And it came to pass that the beggar died
and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom."

Some places, our heart knows and some other places, it doesn't
Some places, our mind knows and some other places, it doesn't

"Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief"

Before me, the door to the next life looms largely
The key will be the last thing to leave my body
Beyond the door, the reward I have chosen
For all my struggling and efforts,
I will still pass through this life to the next
I will meet that reward or recompense that I have lain away

Still, I will not hasten the day of it's arrival
Still, I will fight the fight of all flesh
Still, I will spend my last breath trying to find the next one
For living and breathing is all I have known in this life
Today, I am torn between the world I know
and the world for which I have yearned

Tomorrow may find me there.

Ron

April 6, 2007

The roller coaster ride continues

It has been a crazy week.

We started the week by going to the SkillsUSA Kentucky State Competition. I had three students competing this year. I am proud of them all. They were competing in the leadership events of Extemporaneous Writing, Job Interview, and Related Technical Math. All their competitions were on Tuesday. We arrived on Monday afternoon after a bumpy start, which included me having to find/buy a black necktie, (I have about 100 neckties, but couldn't find my only solid black one) and returning to the school to pick up a jacket left by one of the competitors.

The Tuesday competitions were split into morning and afternoon events. I had one in the morning (Job Interview) and the remaining two in the afternoon. The young lady competing in the writing event was out and about with her family in Louisville. the start time was getting close. I called her at noon (her orientation was at 12:30) and she told me they were on their way back to the hotel. By 12:20, they were still not at the hotel. I called and she told me they were lost. Oh No ! I scrambled to open a map on the computer and find out where they were and how to get to the hotel. They finally found us and rushed in at the last second for her to change into her "Official Dress" and get to the contest site. On Thursday, we found out she placed SECOND in the state in that event.

On Tuesday evening, we received word that Tammy's father had passed away. He had a stroke while Dad was in the hospital. He eventually was released and was staying at a nursing home. On Sunday, his brother took him to the hospital and he was treated and released. On Tuesday, he was taken back to the hospital where he passed away. TJ's uncle called us around 6 that evening. I made some calls and had his body picked up by Kerr Brothers in Lexington.

We left for Lexington on Thursday to make the arrangements. The Funeral Home was extremely nice to us. They helped us out all they could. Because of Jim's recent move back to KY, he didn't have many friends here. There will be a short visitation on Friday, followed by a grave side service. Our Pastor will handle the service.

In spite of the tumultuous relationship TJ had with her father, his passing has been very hard on her. I am sure it is coupled and intermingled with the grief she is still adjusting to concerning my fathers passing just four weeks ago.

We returned to Louisville that afternoon for the rest of the contest and ceremonies. As I stated previously, one of the three students finished in the top three of the state. They are all winners for even getting this far.

The final ceremonies were this morning with the awards presentations. After that, we decided to go to Hard Rock Cafe for lunch. We finally made it after going into the wrong place. The door directly under the Hard Rock Cafe sign is not the Hard Rock Cafe. It is The Pub, a British styled bar/restaurant. The HRC was very nice (with prices to match.)

After we left the HRC, we headed toward Lexington. I had missed a call on my phone, so I checked my messages. My Grandmother had finally given up her long battle and passed away this morning at 11:30. I have no idea of the arrangements as of yet. I do know that I am to be a pallbearer at the funeral. I called my children to tell them the news. My son-in-law, Chris made the statement, "When is this going to end?" I responded that NOW would be a good time.

This is all catching up to me, the stress at work over these competitions and projects we are trying to finish, the passing of my father, the passing of Tammy's father, and the struggle and passing of my Granny. I don't think I am handling it very well. I have become snappy lately. I am a lot less tolerant of things that used to not bother me. I am trying to fix that,but am not sure how to do that. I know I need to talk about it, but the words are bottled up inside me. This has not been hard because it is the reporting of facts. That is easy.

One thing I wrote yesterday was: The hardest thing for a poet is the understand that sometimes there are no words to be said.

The anger inside me is building. I don't even know who I am angry with. Unfortunately, those around me are feeling the warmth. I need to find a way to let go of some of this. Scratch that. I need to find a way to let go of all of this. Snappy is not me. Hateful is not me.

I am fortunate to have Tammy, who is worried sick about me. I am fortunate that she will stand beside me. She will tell me to straighten up too. She told me to pick a person to be, Be sweet or be hateful, but pick one. I do love and adore her so. She has been my rock through this. She thinks she is leaning on me during this ordeal with her dad, but we are co-leaning. I would be completely lost without her. We will make it through this the way we make it through everything, Together.

It is raining

Actually, it is raining here in Louisville. It was storming earlier. There were tornado touchdowns nearby. However, that is not what I am talking about.

We are in Louisville for the SkillsUSA Kentucky State competitions. I have 3 students competing this week. Their contests were today. Tomorrow are the skills contests (ie. Welding, carpentry, electrical, etc.)

Today, TJ's uncle called to tell her that her dad had passed away. I will not go into her relationship or past with her dad. I won't dwell on how she felt about him. I will tell you that the news literally knocked her to the floor. We are leaving tomorrow to make the arrangements. There is no one else that can or will. He had no insurance of any kind.

I called my contacts with Kerr Brothers Funeral home. They assured me that they would help me out as much as possible. They handled Dad's arrangements. Several of the funeral home's directors and leaders came to the family to offer their assistance in any way, on a personal level. Dad had preached many funerals there. I have preached a few there myself. Our families have worked together on several occasions.

We will keep ya as posted as possible. We appreciate the prayers.

Still here and Spring Break (sorta)

Granny continues her defiance of dying. She refuses. She has such a high value placed on life that she refuses to relinquish it one minute too soon. Four weeks without food or water (save some water under her tongue from time to time,) and she is still hanging on.

Next week is Spring Break for Clark County. I still have to work. I am taking 3 students to Louisville to compete in the SkillsUSA Kentucky State Competition. I will be working (plus 19 hours OT .. Well .. Comp Time) Monday thru Thursday. It is going to be a busy time. The best thing about it is that TJ will be with me for the week. I love taking her on my state work trips. It makes the week so much better.

I am taking a laptop with me so I will be able to blog while there, and keep up with my email on all of my email accounts (I only have 10 between home, work, and college.)

Time to get ready for Church this morning. Y'all have a great day.

She still baffles the medical profession

Granny is still with us.

Well, she is with us in body mainly. she suffered a second stroke after the big one that put her in the hospital. The Dr's say she has no recognition. She does, however, like to be the center of attention, as she always has. If you are not talking to her, even in her state, she fusses by slapping her hand on the bed, or banging her thumb into your hand if you are holding hers.

She has been over three weeks with no food or water. she cannot swallow. Her veins collapse if an IV is attempted. Three days ago, her kidneys stopped functioning. Death usually occurs within 24 hours of renal failure. BUT, there she is, still hanging on.

Every day, the Hospice people come by and say it will be her last. Every day they leave scratching their heads. She isn't going until it is time. Apparently, it isn't her time.

She is one tough old lady.

She is 92 and has lived a life full of adventure and love. She has buried three husbands. she has been married 6 times. Her first husband, my grandfather, was a moonshiner. There are so many stories of her. At 72, she told the grandkids that she HAD to get married. When we asked her why, she replied, "I'm horny!"

Such is her life. I will rehearse her stories and tell them to my grandchildren. She will never be gone as long as someone tells her stories. I will keep her immortal. Even now, at 92, confined to her bed at home, she defies science, and writes more stories.

The Nutshell

Let me tell you a little of what has been going on in my life ...

At 13, I repented and was baptized. At 17, I was filled with His Spirit and felt His calling in my life. I ran from that for a while, but eventually accepted His will and a call into the ministry. At 19, I was three things that I said I would never be ... married, an electrician, and a preacher.

At 39, most of that came crashing down. I was still an electrician, but my marriage had crumbled due to mistakes on the part of myself and my wife. I left the ministry and the church. That was 10 years ago. Between then and now, health issues forced me to give up working as an electrician. I am now a teacher at a state technology school, teaching electricity to high school students.

Five years ago, I met and fell in love with Tammy. Three years ago in October 03, we were married.

So, here I was, teaching, married, but still estranged from God and his Church.

About 5 weeks ago, my father had surgery for a cancerous growth on his kidney. The kidney was removed. While recovering from the surgery, he developed a problem with fluid and breathing. He went downstairs for a test and while there, he suffered a respiratory arrest. He stopped breathing. His heart stopped for 8 minutes. The hospital resuscitated him. He was on a ventilator.

Over the next two weeks his condition improved and worsened. The Dr's said he might have mild to moderate brain damage. However, two weeks later, the Dr's painted a much more dismal grim picture. They now said that it was a major brain injury. There was no foreseeable time when he might be able to be off the ventilator. We were faced with grave decisions. Mom, and the six children discussed this and decided as a whole to remove the ventilator and issue a DRN order. That was Wednesday, March 7th, at 11:30 am.

On Thursday, March 8th at 11:15 am, Dad went home to be with God. All six children were in the room. Four of the spouses were there. Mom was there. Several of the grandchildren were there as well. We were singing, "Come home, come home, ye who are weary, come home.."

Such was the life of this man that over 1000 were at the visitation on Friday. 110 flower arrangements were sent. Over 400 were at the funeral. There was one very special guest there. God came. His Spirit moved across the service. There was singing and shouting. There was worship. Dad pastored a church for 39 years and was very active in ministering in churches around the state until the dad he went into the hospital for surgery.

Right now, his mother (92) lingers at the point of death. She had a stroke while Dad was in the hospital and doesn't know he is gone.

Out of this sorrow filled time, the sun refuses to stop shining. Between the Funeral on Saturday, and the committal service on Monday, God worked mighty works. I am back home in the church. His Spirit washed over my soul and He opened His arms to welcome me home. Tammy was filled with His Spirit on that Sunday and was baptized on the following Tuesday.

In one week, everything important changed. Out of soil I thought was barren, a new flower grows. My grief has been borne by the wonderful Spirit of God. On Wednesday, the world seemed so dark. On Thursday, it got darker still. On Sunday, however, the Son/sun arose.

In the Bible, David had a son that was dying. David sat in sackcloth and ashes and fasted for the life of his son. For seven days, he fasted. His son died. The servant was afraid to tell David, but did. When David heard the news, he got up, washed, anointed himself, and worshipped. He went home and prepared a meal and ate. His servants were perplexed. They asked. While the child was alive you wept and fasted, but now that the child is dead, you worship and eat. David replied, "Now he is dead, wherefore should I fast. Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."

I cannot bring my Dad back to me, but I can go to where he has gone.

still here

We are still here. There have been changes in our lives, which will update when there is more time.

We are almost two weeks past Dad's passing. It is still somewhat surreal. My head knows that he is not going to answer his phone. My heart still yearns to hear his voice.

There is a sweet abiding presense of God that makes it bearable.

More to come ...

And so it goes ...

Life slowly goes on. I can't say that it is returning to normal, because it is now and forever different. Everyday, I realise more and more, just how much Dad meant to me. My life is surrounded by many common friends within the church community. They try to tipptoe around talking about Dad as a way to ease my pain. I want them to know that talking about him is fine. The tears you see are a mixture of the sorrow and the love I have in my heart. I realise that he is with me forever. He taught me how to live and showed how to die with grace and dignity. God honored him in his death as he honored God in his life. I am thankful for that.

I created a place for others to leave comments about his effect on their lives. It is slowly filling with comments. It is a great source of comfort to see his works are still alive.

Granny, his mother, is dying. Her veins are collapsing and they cannot medicate or feed her. She is 92. My heart is full. So many memories of her fill my head.

Where to begin ....

Dad passed away at 11:15 AM on March 8. All six of the children were there in the room. Several of the spouses and several of the grandchildren as well. We were all gathered round his bed. Some of us were singing, "Come home, come home, ye who art weary, come home." It was peaceful and calm. There was a wonderful spirit in the room. God came and took his dear friend home with Him.

We moved quickly after that. We scattered, made arrangements, wrote the obituary, picked out many pictures to copy and display, and got things in order. The visitation was Friday night at the funeral home. There were more than a thousand people there in the four hours of the visitation. There were ninety-one flower arrangements delivered. The director eventually had to put them all over the lobby as there was no more room in the room or foyer.

Saturday, there was visitation at the church for two hours before the services. There were about four hundred friends that attended the services. It was a celebration above all else and above all others I have ever seen. Dad touched so many lives in this lifetime. He loved people and was always willing to help anyone. Friends came from far and wide to join the celebration of a life well lived. Someone asked me how old Dad was. I told them that he was 76 years old and that he lived every minute of it. He filled his life with friends and surrounded himself with love.

Rev. Wineinger preached the services. He told of a time he was with Dad after a service. Several people from the church went out to eat and were scattered at tables round about. When the food arrived, Dad announced that we were going to pray before eating. He was talking the folks from the church, but everyone in the place stopped for the prayer. The waitress came to the table about that time and Dad asked her is she wanted to join him in prayer. She dropped to her knees and bowed her head. Dad covered her hand in his and prayed. When he was finished, she raised up with tears in her eyes, and told him thanks, she needed that. Such was this wonderful man.

Everyone that came to the two visitations or the funeral could tell stories like that. He was a remarkable man. I always figured that most people felt about their dads the way I felt about mine. However, today I discovered that most people that knew him, felt about my dad the way that I did as well.

Afterwards, we went to Mom and Dad's house (it will always be that way) and fellowshipped with family. The outpouring of love from friends was phenomenal.

On Monday, we will have a private interment service at a nearby military cemetery where Dad wished to be buried.

As I looked at him, I told a dear family friend, "This is what we recognized, but the man we knew is singing in the choir in heaven."

Bad meeting, Long day

It was supposed to be a meeting where we discussed with the Dr's dads condition and ask about where we go from here in his treatment. I was to go to work (which I did, ) leave and come to the meeting (which I did,) take care of some school/Skills business in town (which Tammy did for me,) and return to school for the afternoon. The 'returning' part didn't happen.

The Dr's report was not good. Dad was slipping. they now are calling it a major brain injury. We, as a family, made difficult decisions and had the ventilator removed and issued a DNR order. That was 11 AM. For the next 12 hours, his room was filled with family and close friends. There was laughter and there were tears. There was a celebration of a well lived life and sadness that it might be ending. He held his own all day and night.

55 years ago, he met and fell in love with mom. People told them they were too young to know what they were doing. They may have been, but they knew what they wanted. Nearly 51 years ago he gave his heart and live to God. 49 years ago he began preaching. 47 years ago he started a small church as pastor. That church still goes strong today. He was pastor for 39 years. As long ago as 4 weeks, he was still preaching and teaching in churches around the state. What a life !
What a journey ! What an incredible journey !

I can't pretend to know if this is where his walk ends. I do not know what God may have in store for him. Yesterday, his legacy surrounded him as his room was filled at all times. Preachers and friends from all over the state visited. This was on a moments notice of his condition.

If my life has only a part of the impact his has had, I would count my life as a success, if life were counted as such.

Posts will probably be few in the next few days. We appreciate your prayers and thoughts.

So little time lately

In the short break I have between wolfing down my lunch and the advent of the next class, let me do some quick catch-up.

Dad has gone up and down since we last posted. He is doing better, but is currently not able to be weaned from the ventilator.

Tammy's dad has refused the procedure that will save his life.

My grandmother (dad's mom) has had a stroke and is in the hospital about 80 miles from us. she is stable but still largely unresponsive.

My Bro-in-law is in the hospital up the street from the hospital T's Dad is in. He is dehydrated and having shortness of breath. They think it is related to the dehydration, but are going to swing to the side of caution and admitted him.

Here is what I wrote last night after hearing all of this (save the treatment refusal which didn't happen until this morning).

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”

The lantern flickers in the wind
The flames lick at the fuel in the wick
Without knowing, the wind threatens
To extinguish this most vital light
The way is dark ahead
The path takes many dips and turns
Though the light is small
The security provided is ten feet tall

While the steps are slow,
They are sure
Each placed by the faith in the light
The winds do, as winds are to do
They buffet my soul
They whistle around my thoughts
They carry the cold and damp
They chill me to my core

And yet, here in this storm
There is this small light
That refuses to be smothered
It leans as the winds howl
It ducks as they gust
Then, slowly, it climbs again

Somewhere ahead
Our destination awaits us
What we seek is not here around us
It is further ahead

With this flickering light
And strength from reserves
Long since forgotten
We will go on

“Thy word
is a lamp
unto my feet,
and a light
unto my path”
Psalms 119:105

Ron Simpson, Jr.
March 5, 2007

it was a good news Wednesday

Dad had surgery today. They removed the ventilator tube from his mouth and put it in his throat. There was much concern because of the switching time. He might be without oxygen.

The surgery went perfect. There was no cause for alarm. He is doing great. "Great" of course being a relative term. He still is not aware awake. He opens his eyes. He makes faces which portray he emotional state. He grimaces at pain. He frowns about things he doesn't like. All of which is better than a week ago.

Tammy's dad is not doing as well. He had a stroke on sunday. We were in the waiting room at the hospital where Dad is when she got the call. Years of smoking and alcohol abuse have limited the choices of treatment for him. It has him in a bad way.

Trying to work, and run back and forth to hospitals and jail, is taking a toll on all of us. We are collectively and individually a bit snappy at times.

But, we snap and snip, and then get back to doing the things that need to be done.

Sometimes the smile is pasted on over the frown, but most of the time it is genuine.

And we will take any good news any day we can get it.

I believe

Without going into a lot of detail, my father is in the CCU of a local hospital after his breathing and heart stopped several day ago. He is on a ventilator to assist his breathing. His heart is strong. There are good days and there are bad days. This I wrote last night and this morning.

I believe.

He has been my teacher all of my life
The lessons ranged from simple to difficult
We have talked about life
And all the things that fill it
We even talked about the end of life
And what comes beyond

I see his lessons in the actions I take
I see his hand in numerous places in my life
Sometimes when I talk, I hear him
Saying the same words in another place
And that gives me a measure of confidence
To use the words already tried and true

One of the lessons Dad spoke of
Involved one of life’s hardest realities
He talked about a time
When he would not be here
He wasn't making plans
But knew that time’s eventuality
Would catch up to even him one day

Standing here, looking at you
More helpless than I have ever seen
I remember what you would say
If you were looking over my shoulder
I can hear the words you have spoken
And I know the reality

God is more than able
He is working all things
According to his time and plan
Be not afraid, only believe
Faith is the substance of things hoped for
The evidence of things not seen

These are the words
Tried and true
These are the words
You are still saying to me
And I believe, Dad
I believe.

Ron

the new toy

Here is the new toy ... Well, a stock pic of the new toy .. havent had a good sunny day to take a good pic of the actual truck .. It is an '03 Trailblazer EXT w/37K miles on it .. sweet

Sliding into home

Feels like I have been running the bases for the last week.

Where do I start ?

The state agrees to allow me to sign the contract to hire a tour coach to take my students to the National Farm Machinery Show in Louisville. I sign and send a check for $790. The tickets are ordered and have arrived (46 tickets for $971.) We are all set to go. Well, almost, there is the matter of permission slips. I have been so wrapped up in this State approval thing that it slipped my mind to get permission slips signed by students. It was Friday, the trip was Wednesday, and I didn't have one signed permission slip.

I have to say, these guys are the worst at keeping up with, or following through with permission slips. Half of them I expected I would be calling their parents on Wednesday to get phone confirmation of their permission. (It wasn't as bad as half, but it was close.) I told the students and parents, that if school was cancelled for weather, we were still planning on going. This is a SkilsUSA trip. It isn't a school field trip. It is a co-curricular event. I told the parents that it would be at their discretion if school was cancelled to send or not send their child.

I get up Wednesday morning about 5:30 as usual. I check the school closings. Sure enough, we are closed. I call the driver of the tour bus to see if we are still on. He calls his companies garage and calls me back. The bus is cancelled. There is state-wide ice.

Students begin calling me. I begin relaying the bad news. Several asked if they could come get tickets and go on their own. Several asked about the possibility of rescheduling. I am checking on both. The ticket office doesn't open until 10AM. by then, I have heard "Welcome to Hell" about a hundred times (my ring tone.)

Eventually, we discover that we can reschedule. We will have to pay the extra $9 per ticket, as our Wednesday trip was at a group rate discount that was only available on that day. That isn't a problem. The real problem is timing. We can get a bus only on Thursday, but there is no way i can notify all my students of the change. They are checking on a bus for Friday. Then, I find out Friday won't work, because it is homecoming for the basketball team. So, no trip. $971 in tickets is lost (actually $845 as I sold 6 tickets to students at $21 per ticket) Our fundraising was for the bus fee, which is now being refunded. We will have raised $850 by the time all the money is brought in. So, we break even, sorta.

That takes us through Thursday. Friday, I was home again. This time I was sick.

Saturday finds us going to Beattyville. Chris has been moved there. It is a 48 mile drive that according to mapquest® takes 1 hour and 31 minutes. We head out about 8:30 and arrive there about 10:00. The roads were snowy and very slick. It was a tedious drive. The snow fell as we drove. Some of the stretches of road had no tracks. Most of it had just a few tracks. Still we made it there. We went to Lexington after Beattyville.

We stopped in Winchester on the way to Lexington. We went to one of the Chevy dealers there to look at Trailblazers. We drove one that drove like a tank. Then we drove one that drove great, but had aftermarket tinting done, with it's black interior, it was like a cave. There were issues with it. The gear shifter knob came off in my hand. One of the windows was cracked. All of which, the salesman assured me would be fixed. Here is what got me. He asked me what I wanted to spend. I gave him a specific number. Then he wanted to show me a GMC Envoy XUV. It was beautiful. It drove great. We were interested. We sat down at the desk and started talking price. The first words out of his mouth was the price that was $6000 more than I told him I wanted to spend. WTHeck? Quickest way to lose a sale with me is to ignore what I tell you. I know what I want. I know how much I want to spend.

From there we went to Lexington. We stopped at Motorvation to see Randy, who sold me my last two SUV's. He had a few to look at. He had a Ford Explorer. It was nice but not as comfortable. He told me he had one *a little more than I planned on spending" but well worth the price. He didn't let me test drive it until he had told me the price and made sure it was OK with me. It was, and we did. It was nice. Oh, it was nice. It was an '03 Trailblazer with 37K miles on it. It was the extended version (2ft longer.) It had third row seating. It was very nice. It drove great. It was very comfortable.

I did some quick figuring in my head as to the price with my credit unions interest. It was affordable. I wanted to stay about the same as my current loan payment. This was going to be about $70 to $80 more. It was doable. I told them to make the deal. Less than an hour later we were on the road in the new truck. We decided to keep the Bravada instead of trading it in. Trading it in would have saved us about $20 to $30 a month on the payment. That was like saying, "you can buy this Trailblazer for this much money and for an extra $30 we will throw in a nice Bravada."

We were looking for a car for Tammy anyway. She wants to put the 'ro in the shop and would need a car for a little while. we wanted to spend about $2K on a car. The payoff on the Bravada is about $2K. So, we use that money to pay off the Bravada, and she has a car she already knows all the quirks on. It only has 102K miles on it. It is a '99. Still a great ride.

Then, on Sunday, we all did the audition thing. Tammy, Chelsea, and I auditioned to sing the National Anthem at a Lexington Legends Ballgame. I auditioned last year and sang at one of the games. We auditioned individually. The CEO of the legends was one of the judges. He gave me a thumbs up. I assume that means a good thing.

Tomorrow is Presidents Day. No school for students, It is an in service day for me.

Now, you are mostly caught up.

How has your week been ?

It has been an inFLUential week

Actually ... Chella has the flu. I am sure I have it as well. I have been doing the sneezy, sniffly, coughy thing most of the week.

It has been a week away from school for the most part. There was no school on Monday because of snow. I was still there (reference-previous post.) Tuesday, there was school, for half the day. The students went home at lunch because of oncoming weather. I was not there at all because I was sick. I was still sick on Wednesday, but there was no school because of the weather again. Today there was school, but, once again, I am still sick. I could have went to work and took it easy. (Funny how my students never seem to mind if I am feeling bad and don't feel up to giving it my all. They are perfectly willing to take it easy.) I just never was one of those people that brought my plague to work to share with everyone else. Since my principal seems to have it as well, I would guess that someone at work did just that. Thanks.

The funniest thing was that one of my students sent me a text message during the time he was in class about how to hook up the cable to the TV. We have cable in the classrooms, but I disconnected mine, because, last year, every time I left the room, MTV was on when I returned. I fixed that by completely taking the cable out of the classroom. It is still available, but only if you know where the 25 ft cord is, that connects it to the TV. Chris (the texting student) is in my class from 10 til 11:27. He sent his message at 10:07. I got the message after lunch. Sorry, Chris, at 10:07, I was sleeping.

As of right now, I am thinking I feel well enough to make it to work tomorrow. However, it is snowing outside again. The 5:30AM SnowGo report will tell whether tomorrow is a school day or not.

Between snow days and sick days, I haven't seen the students for a week. I think I actually miss them. (Slapping myself back to my senses.)

We will see what the morning will bring.

Snow day snow day !

There is no school today. There was no school on Friday. Now, what that means to me is no students, but I still have to be at work at the school. It is a funny kind of twist that makes work fun. When the state wants me to be a teacher (like when it is to their advantage,) I am a teacher. When the state doesn't want me to be a teacher (like when it is to their disadvantage,) I am a state employee.

The county calls off school because of weather and all the 'teachers' get a day off. However, on those occasions, the State has decided that I am a State employee and therefore required to be at work unless the governor closes state offices.

On Friday, I took a personal day off from my annual leave. I think I have 13 or 14 days accrued. I get one annual leave day and one sick day a month. Anyway, here I am at my desk. I did come in one hour late because of the snow and ice, but am allowed to make that up sometime, anytime, in the next 4 weeks. I am thinking I will make up the 7.5 I took Friday as well, since I am always here late anyway.

The rest of my life is slowly grinding back into the routine chaos it normally consists of. The secondary charges against Chris were dropped on Friday. Sierra is still with us, but we did find a house that she may be able to rent. It is about 4 doors down the street from us. It is a little 2 bedroom house. Amazingly, it rents for only $300 a month plus utilities. Even working fast food, she can afford that (if she ever gets a job.) She is still dealing with her jerkwad hubby about taxes and such. I am sure they will reconcile. Neither has the brains to see that they have that destructive kind of love.

There are three Greek words for love. They are: Agape, Phileo, and Eros. Each has a different meaning with different connotations. I believe the best way to describe them comes from two words: Give and Take.

Eros is where we get the term erotic. It is a take/take kind of love. It is a selfish love. It is a love me type of love. It is the destructive type of love. It sucks the life out of the participants and returns nothing to the mix. It does not nourish. It generally leaves a dried lifeless husk of a person when it is finished. It is over when there is nothing left to take. It is that 'on the surface' love. It is easily shaken, rarely long lasting, and sometimes fatal. It is the love borne of lust.

Phileo means brotherly love. It is the basis of Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love. It is a give/take kind of love. It is the love me as I love you type of love. We all have loves here. It is the friendship kind of love. It is affection.

Agape is the sacrificial type of love. It is a give/give love. It is the "I will love you no matter what you do" kind of love.

We all are trying to ascribe to the Agape type of love, but will usually settle in on the Phileo type.

Oops, did I suddenly go on a rant/run. Sorry about that.

Anyway, life is going on.

Someone got me thinking ...

and that is never a good thing .. lol

Actually, I was reading the blog of a dear friend, retro-girl (her blog is on my roll) and she was answering questions about various things. One of the questions (the one that got me thinking,) was about favorite childhood memories.

Let me tell you, I had a wonderful childhood. We weren't money rich, by any stretch of the imagination, but we were the richest family I knew. My parents, still married today after nearly 53 years, were exceptional. When I left home at almost 20, I had still never heard them fight. In their half century, they have spent one night apart because of anger. That was once when Mom was upset with something Dad did, and fell asleep on the couch, so even it was inadvertent. I never saw them argue. I saw them loving and playful. I would see Dad swat Mom on the bottom as he walked through the kitchen. She would say, "Oh Ronald, stop that," but it was obviously tongue in cheek.

Therefore, my childhood was filled with precious memories. I used to think, when I was young and naive, that everyone's family was this way. When I got older and discovered abuse (second hand,) it amazed me. I had a difficult time imagining the circumstances that would cause a parent to hurt a child. I know it happens, but still, it was hard. Now, let me tell you, I got 'whuppings' from my parents. "Whuppings" was the word Dad used, but they were spankings (Mostly deserved.) I remember the changes as I grew up. As a young lad, Mom would spank me when I did the occasional (yeah, right) misbehaving act. As I got older, she tended to spank me less and refer me to Dad for the spanking.

Let me tell you, Mom was a little woman, about 5'3", and weighing not much. Dad was 5'11" and weighed between 200 and 300 pounds depending on the time. However, I would rather Dad spank me any day. Dad was a softy. He would begin to administer the spanking, I would howl as if he killed me, and he would stop, figuring that he had matched the crime and punishment. Mom was a completely different story. Mom knew how much spanking you needed. I don't know how she knew, but somehow, she knew. It didn't matter how much you danced and howled, she wasn't stopping until you had received your 'just recompense of reward' for your offense.

There was never any question about how much we were loved. 'We' being me and my 4 sisters and 1 brother. Mom was a German woman, born there and lived there until she and Dad were married and she came to the 'states'. She was sometimes stoic. She wasn't a big hugger. Still, I never doubted then, nor do I to this day, how much she loves me. Dad was a show-er. He didn't say it all the time, but he showed it. Dad worked as an electrician, and Mom worked as a mother and housewife. They did a great job with my childhood. I used to feel that I should apologize to folks with less spectacular childhoods, for having such a great one, but I am long over that. I am thankful daily for my childhood.

It is filled with memories.

Once, my sister, Barbara (5 yrs my senior) was babysitting me, when I did something evil (no clue as to what it was,) and she chased me as I ran down the street. I climbed a tree about 4 houses down the street. I walked around the branches in the tree as B walked around the trunk below. At one point, a branch broke and down I went, right on top of Barb.

I remember once when we were staying with 'Lula' (Dad's stepmom) while Dad & Mom were at a preachers conference for a week. Dad was a church pastor as well as an electrician. I was 5 yrs old. That left the other ages of the others at: Barb 10, Kathy 8, Donna 4, Richard 2, and Patty was with mom at 6 months old. Papaw and Lula had an old farm house with no running water. There was a well pump that had to be hand pumped that brought frigid ground water to the house. There were no bathrooms. Out back, about a mile (so it seemed to a 5 yr old) was an outhouse.

It was the middle of the night when I awoke with the need to do '#2'. I went to the back door and peered into the murky darkness. At 5, I didn't know it was murky darkness, I just knew it was dark. I pondered the scariness of the situation and hesitated. My body did not hesitate. I messed my underwear. Being filled with the wisdom of a 5 yr old, I took off the shorts and flung them off to the side out the back door into the (yes, you guessed it) murky darkness. In my mind they were gone forever. I cleaned myself, redressed, and went back to bed.

The next morning, we were all gathered at the table to eat breakfast. Papaw and L had already been up for hours. They got up with the sun. L had prepared a great breakfast. She said, "Someone needs to say Grace, anyone but Ronnie, who messed his underwear and threw them out the back door last night." I could have crawled under the table. I was discovered. I still laugh about that day.

Dad was a church pastor as I grew up. When the church was small, he would take me out back when I misbehaved and spank me. Then he would give me his handkerchief, tell me to dry it up, and we would go back inside. I would walk in as if nothing had happened, even though the entire congregation knew I had just got my bottom busted. As the church grew, Dad was less able to stop things and spank me, or any of the other kids that misbehaved. He would snap his fingers and every kid in the church would stop doing whatever they were doing (even the kids that weren't his) and straighten up for a minute. If it was me, and it often was, he would point his finger to let me know, I had a spanking coming after we got home.

I would get into the back of the stationwagon when this happened and conveniently fall asleep. When we would get home, Dad would take me out of the car, feigning sleep, and put me to bed. It just wasn't right to wake a sleeping child to spank them. It was a good plan.

One morning, following a night when I was supposed to get a spanking and didn't, my sister Donna, came dancing down the stairs from her bedroom, telling Dad, "you forgot to whip Ron last night." I was sunk. I was undone. Dad went into the bedroom to get his belt. I knew I was going to get it.

Instead, he spanked Donna for tattling. Yes, it was a GOOD morning !!

There were trips to the mountains. There were drives to the country. There was a time we drove through a creek to get to the farm and water came in at the bottom of the door. There was ice cream on the way home from Sunday School. I had a horse (well, he wasn't mine but I was the only one that rode him .. Domino .. 14 hands,) when I was 10 and we lived in Winchester. We lived on a small farm. We had chickens.

When I was 14 we moved to Woodford County to an 11 acre place. Dad and friends built the house. I helped. It was a good time. I remember, when I was 16, we had a cow that died during the birth process. The Vet had to deliver the calf. It was a male. We kept it in the barn and fed it with a bucket that had a nipple at the bottom on the side. The bull calf was doing well. I was in the stall one particularly hot summer day and the calf was taking his dear sweet time, and mostly not nursing. I thought, "it is cooler in the garage at the house." and decided to take the calf there to feed. I picked up the calf and put him over my shoulders (front legs on one side, hind legs on the other, carrying him across my shoulders.) I grabbed the bucket with my hand and walked the 500 yards up the hill to the house.

It worked great. It was cooler in the garage (basement under the house) and the calf finally nursed. I wasn't burning up. After he was done, I repeated the carrying thing and grabbed the bucket to go down the hill to the barn. About half way there, I felt something hot suddenly running down my back. I leaned my head back to find out what it was, when I was assailed by the pungent aroma for fresh bull urine. I gagged. I threw the calf down. I puked. In the middle of the field, I was wet and heaving. I returned the calf, and ran back up the hill to hit the showers. Weehawwww !

Those are just a few of the wonderful times I had in my childhood.

Thanks Red, for reminding me to remember them.

something I wrote and forgot to post

Falling

Have you ever considered the unlikeliness of love ..
It is little wonder we call it 'falling'
With all the minor and major happenings which must coincide
Any one of which could have prevented us from ever meeting
One twist of time and we are complete strangers
Each going our own way, oblivious to what was missed
One hiccup of fate and we pass, moments from love
Never feeling even the wind of cupid's passing arrow
For all the angry messengers of mankind
Cursing the workings of the fates
I can only sit and marvel at her wisdom
For all around us we see it .. the wonder of love
It fills our songs and our poetry
In a never ending effort to put to words the wordless
It is a trend these woefully inadequate words will not stop
It weaves itself as an inexplicable thread throughout our being

We cannot see it in a tangible form
And yet we see it in the actions of the smallest caring
We cannot hear it, as it does not possess a mouth
And still, we listen for it on every wind
We cannot hold it in the grasp of our fingers
Nevertheless, we house it in our hearts
And allow it to spill forth
We cannot run it across the taste buds on our tongue
However, the taste of love is sweet
And even without odor
It assails the nostrils and fills the head

I never knew the unreal
Could become so real
Until there was you
You are what love has tried to tell me my entire life
You are the words my heart has whispered
Even before I knew how to listen
You are my ‘falling’

Ron
January 18, 2007

Life gets busier

Things are on the run here as usual, it seems. More and more, busy is the rule rather than the exception. I think it is time to scale back a bit, although I don't see how it is possible.

School is busier than ever. I have been talking to several businesses about co-oping some of our students. I am still working on the fundraising for SkillsUSA and the upcoming trip. Add to that, the brochure I am designing for the school, the five classes I teach, and all the other little things that come with them, and work is like .. Well, like work.

Working for the state, there is a motto: "No good deed goes unpunished." If you do your job well, you get more work to do. If you excel in one area, they try to bog you down in another area. So, being the perfectionist that I am, I am a prime candidate.

The situation at home is busy as well. The news on the Chris front is not good. I won't go into that here. S is still here, still pregnant, and still not working. Every day it seems, one of the kids has something that needs to be done. Some days, we just want to go upstairs, close the door, and hide in the waterbed.

Tammy's work cut hours and they cut her back. She told them if this was going to be the case, she would giver her two week notice. Suddenly, she is back to nearly 20 hours a week. Which, is a good thing. The less time she has to 'hang around' the house, the less time she has to do all the running the kids think is required.

Still, the days get shorter and busier. There is no end in sight in the near future. I can see a vacation looming on the horizon. The next school break of any length will be filled with cabins and woods, even if it is just an hour down the road. I am looking at NC, but will take anywhere that no one can find us. I am looking for a place where, when the cell phone rings, we are too far away to do anything for anyone.

But .. Until then .. Life just gets busier ...

The Spark

My Principal asked me write something .. or do something .. for the School Board Appreciation thing.

It includes a cover that says:
Thanks for all you do to keep the spark of education alive in Clark County.

It all begins with a spark.

Walking back from the retirement dinner
I took a trip in my mind,
To try to find the place it all began
Backwards I tread through the thirty years
Of loving what I do and doing what I love
This time watching as it unfolded
Even the day I started, it was already there

Farther back, I trekked,
Eyes intently watching
Watching as it ebbed and glowed
Throughout those college years
Must have happened before then
I mused, considering all I saw

Back to high school
Those oft remembered days of youth
The friendships formed,
That last even until today
Forming and making me
Becoming the person, I was supposed to be
Still, it was already there

Middle school came and went
Filled with laughter and learning
Building blocks,
On a foundation already fashioned
Elementary school, there I found it
That first beginning spark
A certain teacher noticed it
And fed it from the menu of education

It happens different for us all
At diverse times and poles apart places
But somewhere along the way
We find ‘our’ spark
And there it really begins

Now I find, Even in this eve of my life
That spark, now a flame
Calls to me still

Ron
January 23, 2007

Oh yeah .. And on Saturday

I got certified as a CPR/First Responder.

It was a cool class. The presenter/instructor was Rob, an Englander with his accent in tact. He is a diver, among other things. He is also a personal friend. We held the class at our house, with 12 people in attendance. It was a blast. Ten friends and Tammy and I, working our way through the manual and the hands-on stuff. We did the actually procedure on a resusci-annie. It was interesting. I did this when I was an apprentice electrician, but that was a long time ago.

We also did the First Aid part and the AED device training. AED is the new defibrillator thing that does everything nearly automatically. We are getting one for our school.

We took a break between the book and test part, and the hands-on part. We went to a Chinese restaurant for a late lunch. 15 of us (Rob & Brandy had 2 of the kids with them and we took Sierra, who is 18) took over a section of the place. The fortunes were very interesting. The key to reading a fortune from the cookie is to add the phrase, "In bed" at the end of whatever fortune you get. One of our friends, who is a lawyer, got a fortune, that worked with or without the ending phrase, but was much more interesting with it. It read, "Your tongue is best ambassador," IN BED !! It was priceless.

Then back to the house for the final phase and viola', we are certified for 2 years.

We had a Board meeting after the class and even thought for a spilt second about going to Lexington that evening. It passed quickly. We were worn out. Getting set up, getting the foods ready, playing the generous host, and getting certified, wore us out. The bed seemed like a much better place to spend the evening rather than about 2 hours driving.

On Sunday, Tammy was fixing her hair when she dropped something. When she bent to pick it up, she banged her head on the hutch mantle and went to the floor. She wasn't knocked out. She was just startled and sat down. I asked her if she was ok. I told her I was trained, did I need to resuscitate her? She was really fine. She made a nice bump on her head though.

Last night we got to babysit the two grandkids, Ian and Abby. Tammy was in heaven with a 5 week old baby in the house. C and C went to the movies and out to eat. They loved the time away but missed the kids too. Good parents.

Now, it is back to the grindstone.

Peeve time

I am not sure it is a pet peeve, but it definitely is a peeve.

Main Entry: troop
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French
trope, troupe company, herd, of Germanic origin; akin to Old English thorp, throp village -- more at THORP
1 a : a group of soldiers b : a cavalry unit corresponding to an infantry company c plural : ARMED FORCES, SOLDIERS
2 : a collection of people or things : CREW 2
3 : a flock of mammals or birds
4 : the basic organizational unit of Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts under an adult leader

I am reading the news and it says, 5 troops killed in Iraq, or like today 26 troops killed in Iraq. I am mortified. Then, upon investigation, I discover that is was not 5 troops, or 26 troops, it was 5 soldiers, and 26 soldiers. While, 1 dead soldier is not a good thing by any stretch of the imagination, it is not as bad as 1 troop. You would think that journalist would know the difference. Are they just trying to sensationalize the loss of life ? If so, they are just as guilty as those that embellished the facts to get us into this war. If exaggeration for effect (Hyperbole) is wrong for one side, it is wrong for both sides.

It is a tragedy that American soldiers are dying and American troops are stationed in Iraq based on a lie, but lying to emphasis it puts you in the same boat as your opponents.

That's one of my peeves.

Pulling the reins back ...

Wowser ... Has it ever been busy ..

It has been a whirlwind. Revelations, which I will not go into, have caused us to ask our son-in-law to move out. He chose to go to his sister's house, where his wife is not welcome. She assured him that she would bring him back and forth to Mt Sterling for work. Guess what ? First day he as to work, S calls to see if he is going to work, and he claims his sister will not bring him. Only one of two things could be .. Either she lied to him or he is lying to us .. Either way, we wash our hands of it. S can stay, under the conditions to which they both agreed. There will be a job involved or much job searching. There will be every effort to keep our life as close to what it was before.

I am sorry that S has to go through this, but this is the world she created with her actions. Against better advice, she went forth with marrying this guy. Against better advice, she let her life become what it is. Now that she is living in the heat of the consequences of her actions, she wants to whine and feel sorry for herself, and we are not having any of it.

It never ceases to amaze me when people, living in the hovel to which their actions have reduced their lives, look up and question as to how GOD could let this happen. I believe that GOD created this world a long time ago. When he handed it to man, we began remaking it in our own choice of images. When it gets out of control because of the choices we have made, we turn to GOD and wonder why he let it happen. We wrestled it out of his hands. We took control. We screwed it over and over. We created this FUBAR, and then we look up and ask 'WHY?'

You are why you are where you are. Ultimately, I am responsible for my position in the world. Every day I am faced with choices. Each choice is attached to a consequence. Some choices are light and the consequence is light. Some choices are heavy, and the consequence is heavy. Other are in the middle. Still, the choice and the consequence are mine to own.

(Sliding the soapbox mostly back under the bed)

While I am typing this, I am printing envelopes for our fundraising for SkillsUSA to go to the Nat'l Farm Machinery Show in Louisville KY. My own insanity has caused me to agree to take 43 high school students on a day long into the night trip on Valentines Day. There is that Dierks Bentley song .. "What was I thinking?"

Still, it has been fun getting it ready. The students wanted to go. I had them write a letter to the Principal of GRC requesting permission to go, outlining all the positive effects it would have to their education. They did a great job and he agreed to let them go. Now, we have to raise the $790 to rent the bus and the $971 for tickets. We are selling candy, want some ?

That is part of the pulling the reins back title .. Every day is a new thing to do concerning this trip. Each day the list changes. Each day someone else wants to go. Yesterday the list stopped when I submitted the names to the National Skills USA organization. The list is now closed. 49 students joined. 43 are going on the trip. There will be many pictures taken. This will be a membership drive item for next year.

When I came here, the chapter was nearly extinguished. Membership was nearly rock bottom. The new Advisor was making some changes and number were growing. However, he left at the start of last year, leaving it all to me, with me not knowing very much about it. I have been learning on the job. This year is the highest number for membership in many many years. (patting myself on the back just a little) .. I am proud of the students and student leadership. They have kicked in marvelously.

I am hoping for a slowdown (another Dierks Bentley song, if memory serves me correctly.) With a month until the trip, and much left to do, I don't see that happening. Still, it is nice to dream. I think I need to learn the fine art of delegation.

Well, there you have it. Most of the stuff going on. Oh there is much more, but it is all the usual goings on. Kids stuff. House stuff. Car stuff. Sickness stuff. Work stuff. Bill stuff. You know, the usual.

Season

She wakes in the morning
The Winter of night still lingering
Her fiery hair still tousled
From the storms of darkness breath
Slowly the twinkle of Spring
Embarks upon its maiden dance
As the light begins to shine in her eyes
And ... once more ... life yawns into existence
Eventually the swiftness of Summer
will urge her footfalls
As the day launches into a run
Bright and fast, the summer sun blazes
Late the Fall chill fills the air
Haste calls all the louder
Winter approaches, creeping on silent feet
Calling the slumber king to reign once more
Every day I love her in all of her seasons

There are seasons of the day
That pass by, nearly in a blur
There are seasons of the week
Days of haste rushing into days of rest
There are seasons of the month
And seasons of the year
Each we spend together
I love her in all the seasons of her life

All her life and mine
Our seasons come and go and intertwine
Her Winters some days falling
As my Summer days are calling
My Summer sun finding a way
To keep her Winters chill at bay
Her Summer during my Fall
And times when Spring calls to all
Every day, I love her in all of her seasons

Eventually, our seasons will end
And others will carry on
As is the way of all living
But, until then,
In the chill, In the haste,
In the warmth, and in the fresh,
Every day, I will love her in all of her seasons.

Ron
January 13, 2007

Yes yess yesssssss

The long weekend is coming!

This has been one busy week, both in school and out.

There were too many trips to Lexington. We were out to help dad and went to BestBuy and got him a new laptop. He has finally killed his old one. Saturday, we went out and bought one for $1000. The salesman told us that it was going on sale the next day (shhhhhh don't tell his manager) for $850. He also told us that if we brought the receipt back within 14 days we would be refunded the difference. We took it to Dad and set it up for him, adjusted his preferences, downloaded the latest Java so he could play his games, set up his AOL (pretty good, an AOL'er at 76 yrs old,) and added his Quicken Quick Book®. We left him happy.

We were going to go out and karaoke, but Tammy wasn't feeling up to it. We decided that the stress lately has depleted her immune system and that is why she has stayed so sickly. Odd that she started getting sick right after Sierra and Jordan moved in temporarily. Love ya kids. Are you moving today?

Anyway, back to the laptop. I think it was Sunday, Dad called me and told me he couldn't get online anymore. It told him there was an error in the sign in. I tried to troubleshoot it over the phone, not wanting to do the 80 mile round trip to discover it was just a click. He figured it out. He uses dial-up. The computer was looking for DSL. Something he clicked. That saved a trip to Lexington.

Then, he calls on Tuesday. Nothing is working. Mom says he is computer illiterate. I think it is like most folks. They can operate well within the programs, but don't know a lot about programming language.

I am self taught. My first computer was in the early 80's. It was a Texas Instrument TI99-4A. The processor was a 3"x4"x3" box that plugged into the wall, with a keyboard cord slot and a coaxial that went to your TV (which operated as your monitor.) There were no floppy slots. There were no programs to buy. There was a book with Bill Cosby on the cover that explained computer language, so you could write your own programs. I wrote programs to play BlackJack and figured out how to do graphics. I also figured, since I was running it through my TV, that I could run it through my VCR and record it. It worked. I created graphics for several churches to use in the video ministries.

Tammy has a degree in Computer Science. She is a qualified Software writer.

We went to Dad's on Wednesday and reinstalled his operating system. We were meeting friends for dinner, so we left while itwass installing the applications. I told Dad we would be back to finish, and not to bother it. We had a good time at dinner, but as we were leaving, Dad calls and tells me he can't get online. Oh my, Dad, leave it alone. He has this patience issue, lol.

We stopped by friends house to see the new place (right around the corner from Dad) and then ran on over. It was the broadband issue again, as I hoped. He still needed the Java download, but that was for Tammy to do on Thursday, when she had to be in Lexington.

Some weeks, we manage to stay completely away from Lexington. Other weeks, it seems we can't stay out of it.

School has been OK. It hasn't been stressful. We have been busy with SkillsUSA planning a trip to the National Farm Machinery Show and Truck/Tractor Pull in Louisville. The bus is $750 and the tickets are $21. FUNDRAISING TIME!!

It never stops.

But, the three day weekend is coming !!

Yes, I know

I have been neglecting you of late. I offer my sincerest apologies.

Look for some serious sucking up and catching up.

More to come ...