The Nutshell

Let me tell you a little of what has been going on in my life ...

At 13, I repented and was baptized. At 17, I was filled with His Spirit and felt His calling in my life. I ran from that for a while, but eventually accepted His will and a call into the ministry. At 19, I was three things that I said I would never be ... married, an electrician, and a preacher.

At 39, most of that came crashing down. I was still an electrician, but my marriage had crumbled due to mistakes on the part of myself and my wife. I left the ministry and the church. That was 10 years ago. Between then and now, health issues forced me to give up working as an electrician. I am now a teacher at a state technology school, teaching electricity to high school students.

Five years ago, I met and fell in love with Tammy. Three years ago in October 03, we were married.

So, here I was, teaching, married, but still estranged from God and his Church.

About 5 weeks ago, my father had surgery for a cancerous growth on his kidney. The kidney was removed. While recovering from the surgery, he developed a problem with fluid and breathing. He went downstairs for a test and while there, he suffered a respiratory arrest. He stopped breathing. His heart stopped for 8 minutes. The hospital resuscitated him. He was on a ventilator.

Over the next two weeks his condition improved and worsened. The Dr's said he might have mild to moderate brain damage. However, two weeks later, the Dr's painted a much more dismal grim picture. They now said that it was a major brain injury. There was no foreseeable time when he might be able to be off the ventilator. We were faced with grave decisions. Mom, and the six children discussed this and decided as a whole to remove the ventilator and issue a DRN order. That was Wednesday, March 7th, at 11:30 am.

On Thursday, March 8th at 11:15 am, Dad went home to be with God. All six children were in the room. Four of the spouses were there. Mom was there. Several of the grandchildren were there as well. We were singing, "Come home, come home, ye who are weary, come home.."

Such was the life of this man that over 1000 were at the visitation on Friday. 110 flower arrangements were sent. Over 400 were at the funeral. There was one very special guest there. God came. His Spirit moved across the service. There was singing and shouting. There was worship. Dad pastored a church for 39 years and was very active in ministering in churches around the state until the dad he went into the hospital for surgery.

Right now, his mother (92) lingers at the point of death. She had a stroke while Dad was in the hospital and doesn't know he is gone.

Out of this sorrow filled time, the sun refuses to stop shining. Between the Funeral on Saturday, and the committal service on Monday, God worked mighty works. I am back home in the church. His Spirit washed over my soul and He opened His arms to welcome me home. Tammy was filled with His Spirit on that Sunday and was baptized on the following Tuesday.

In one week, everything important changed. Out of soil I thought was barren, a new flower grows. My grief has been borne by the wonderful Spirit of God. On Wednesday, the world seemed so dark. On Thursday, it got darker still. On Sunday, however, the Son/sun arose.

In the Bible, David had a son that was dying. David sat in sackcloth and ashes and fasted for the life of his son. For seven days, he fasted. His son died. The servant was afraid to tell David, but did. When David heard the news, he got up, washed, anointed himself, and worshipped. He went home and prepared a meal and ate. His servants were perplexed. They asked. While the child was alive you wept and fasted, but now that the child is dead, you worship and eat. David replied, "Now he is dead, wherefore should I fast. Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."

I cannot bring my Dad back to me, but I can go to where he has gone.

still here

We are still here. There have been changes in our lives, which will update when there is more time.

We are almost two weeks past Dad's passing. It is still somewhat surreal. My head knows that he is not going to answer his phone. My heart still yearns to hear his voice.

There is a sweet abiding presense of God that makes it bearable.

More to come ...

And so it goes ...

Life slowly goes on. I can't say that it is returning to normal, because it is now and forever different. Everyday, I realise more and more, just how much Dad meant to me. My life is surrounded by many common friends within the church community. They try to tipptoe around talking about Dad as a way to ease my pain. I want them to know that talking about him is fine. The tears you see are a mixture of the sorrow and the love I have in my heart. I realise that he is with me forever. He taught me how to live and showed how to die with grace and dignity. God honored him in his death as he honored God in his life. I am thankful for that.

I created a place for others to leave comments about his effect on their lives. It is slowly filling with comments. It is a great source of comfort to see his works are still alive.

Granny, his mother, is dying. Her veins are collapsing and they cannot medicate or feed her. She is 92. My heart is full. So many memories of her fill my head.

Where to begin ....

Dad passed away at 11:15 AM on March 8. All six of the children were there in the room. Several of the spouses and several of the grandchildren as well. We were all gathered round his bed. Some of us were singing, "Come home, come home, ye who art weary, come home." It was peaceful and calm. There was a wonderful spirit in the room. God came and took his dear friend home with Him.

We moved quickly after that. We scattered, made arrangements, wrote the obituary, picked out many pictures to copy and display, and got things in order. The visitation was Friday night at the funeral home. There were more than a thousand people there in the four hours of the visitation. There were ninety-one flower arrangements delivered. The director eventually had to put them all over the lobby as there was no more room in the room or foyer.

Saturday, there was visitation at the church for two hours before the services. There were about four hundred friends that attended the services. It was a celebration above all else and above all others I have ever seen. Dad touched so many lives in this lifetime. He loved people and was always willing to help anyone. Friends came from far and wide to join the celebration of a life well lived. Someone asked me how old Dad was. I told them that he was 76 years old and that he lived every minute of it. He filled his life with friends and surrounded himself with love.

Rev. Wineinger preached the services. He told of a time he was with Dad after a service. Several people from the church went out to eat and were scattered at tables round about. When the food arrived, Dad announced that we were going to pray before eating. He was talking the folks from the church, but everyone in the place stopped for the prayer. The waitress came to the table about that time and Dad asked her is she wanted to join him in prayer. She dropped to her knees and bowed her head. Dad covered her hand in his and prayed. When he was finished, she raised up with tears in her eyes, and told him thanks, she needed that. Such was this wonderful man.

Everyone that came to the two visitations or the funeral could tell stories like that. He was a remarkable man. I always figured that most people felt about their dads the way I felt about mine. However, today I discovered that most people that knew him, felt about my dad the way that I did as well.

Afterwards, we went to Mom and Dad's house (it will always be that way) and fellowshipped with family. The outpouring of love from friends was phenomenal.

On Monday, we will have a private interment service at a nearby military cemetery where Dad wished to be buried.

As I looked at him, I told a dear family friend, "This is what we recognized, but the man we knew is singing in the choir in heaven."

Bad meeting, Long day

It was supposed to be a meeting where we discussed with the Dr's dads condition and ask about where we go from here in his treatment. I was to go to work (which I did, ) leave and come to the meeting (which I did,) take care of some school/Skills business in town (which Tammy did for me,) and return to school for the afternoon. The 'returning' part didn't happen.

The Dr's report was not good. Dad was slipping. they now are calling it a major brain injury. We, as a family, made difficult decisions and had the ventilator removed and issued a DNR order. That was 11 AM. For the next 12 hours, his room was filled with family and close friends. There was laughter and there were tears. There was a celebration of a well lived life and sadness that it might be ending. He held his own all day and night.

55 years ago, he met and fell in love with mom. People told them they were too young to know what they were doing. They may have been, but they knew what they wanted. Nearly 51 years ago he gave his heart and live to God. 49 years ago he began preaching. 47 years ago he started a small church as pastor. That church still goes strong today. He was pastor for 39 years. As long ago as 4 weeks, he was still preaching and teaching in churches around the state. What a life !
What a journey ! What an incredible journey !

I can't pretend to know if this is where his walk ends. I do not know what God may have in store for him. Yesterday, his legacy surrounded him as his room was filled at all times. Preachers and friends from all over the state visited. This was on a moments notice of his condition.

If my life has only a part of the impact his has had, I would count my life as a success, if life were counted as such.

Posts will probably be few in the next few days. We appreciate your prayers and thoughts.

So little time lately

In the short break I have between wolfing down my lunch and the advent of the next class, let me do some quick catch-up.

Dad has gone up and down since we last posted. He is doing better, but is currently not able to be weaned from the ventilator.

Tammy's dad has refused the procedure that will save his life.

My grandmother (dad's mom) has had a stroke and is in the hospital about 80 miles from us. she is stable but still largely unresponsive.

My Bro-in-law is in the hospital up the street from the hospital T's Dad is in. He is dehydrated and having shortness of breath. They think it is related to the dehydration, but are going to swing to the side of caution and admitted him.

Here is what I wrote last night after hearing all of this (save the treatment refusal which didn't happen until this morning).

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”

The lantern flickers in the wind
The flames lick at the fuel in the wick
Without knowing, the wind threatens
To extinguish this most vital light
The way is dark ahead
The path takes many dips and turns
Though the light is small
The security provided is ten feet tall

While the steps are slow,
They are sure
Each placed by the faith in the light
The winds do, as winds are to do
They buffet my soul
They whistle around my thoughts
They carry the cold and damp
They chill me to my core

And yet, here in this storm
There is this small light
That refuses to be smothered
It leans as the winds howl
It ducks as they gust
Then, slowly, it climbs again

Somewhere ahead
Our destination awaits us
What we seek is not here around us
It is further ahead

With this flickering light
And strength from reserves
Long since forgotten
We will go on

“Thy word
is a lamp
unto my feet,
and a light
unto my path”
Psalms 119:105

Ron Simpson, Jr.
March 5, 2007

it was a good news Wednesday

Dad had surgery today. They removed the ventilator tube from his mouth and put it in his throat. There was much concern because of the switching time. He might be without oxygen.

The surgery went perfect. There was no cause for alarm. He is doing great. "Great" of course being a relative term. He still is not aware awake. He opens his eyes. He makes faces which portray he emotional state. He grimaces at pain. He frowns about things he doesn't like. All of which is better than a week ago.

Tammy's dad is not doing as well. He had a stroke on sunday. We were in the waiting room at the hospital where Dad is when she got the call. Years of smoking and alcohol abuse have limited the choices of treatment for him. It has him in a bad way.

Trying to work, and run back and forth to hospitals and jail, is taking a toll on all of us. We are collectively and individually a bit snappy at times.

But, we snap and snip, and then get back to doing the things that need to be done.

Sometimes the smile is pasted on over the frown, but most of the time it is genuine.

And we will take any good news any day we can get it.

I believe

Without going into a lot of detail, my father is in the CCU of a local hospital after his breathing and heart stopped several day ago. He is on a ventilator to assist his breathing. His heart is strong. There are good days and there are bad days. This I wrote last night and this morning.

I believe.

He has been my teacher all of my life
The lessons ranged from simple to difficult
We have talked about life
And all the things that fill it
We even talked about the end of life
And what comes beyond

I see his lessons in the actions I take
I see his hand in numerous places in my life
Sometimes when I talk, I hear him
Saying the same words in another place
And that gives me a measure of confidence
To use the words already tried and true

One of the lessons Dad spoke of
Involved one of life’s hardest realities
He talked about a time
When he would not be here
He wasn't making plans
But knew that time’s eventuality
Would catch up to even him one day

Standing here, looking at you
More helpless than I have ever seen
I remember what you would say
If you were looking over my shoulder
I can hear the words you have spoken
And I know the reality

God is more than able
He is working all things
According to his time and plan
Be not afraid, only believe
Faith is the substance of things hoped for
The evidence of things not seen

These are the words
Tried and true
These are the words
You are still saying to me
And I believe, Dad
I believe.

Ron

the new toy

Here is the new toy ... Well, a stock pic of the new toy .. havent had a good sunny day to take a good pic of the actual truck .. It is an '03 Trailblazer EXT w/37K miles on it .. sweet

Sliding into home

Feels like I have been running the bases for the last week.

Where do I start ?

The state agrees to allow me to sign the contract to hire a tour coach to take my students to the National Farm Machinery Show in Louisville. I sign and send a check for $790. The tickets are ordered and have arrived (46 tickets for $971.) We are all set to go. Well, almost, there is the matter of permission slips. I have been so wrapped up in this State approval thing that it slipped my mind to get permission slips signed by students. It was Friday, the trip was Wednesday, and I didn't have one signed permission slip.

I have to say, these guys are the worst at keeping up with, or following through with permission slips. Half of them I expected I would be calling their parents on Wednesday to get phone confirmation of their permission. (It wasn't as bad as half, but it was close.) I told the students and parents, that if school was cancelled for weather, we were still planning on going. This is a SkilsUSA trip. It isn't a school field trip. It is a co-curricular event. I told the parents that it would be at their discretion if school was cancelled to send or not send their child.

I get up Wednesday morning about 5:30 as usual. I check the school closings. Sure enough, we are closed. I call the driver of the tour bus to see if we are still on. He calls his companies garage and calls me back. The bus is cancelled. There is state-wide ice.

Students begin calling me. I begin relaying the bad news. Several asked if they could come get tickets and go on their own. Several asked about the possibility of rescheduling. I am checking on both. The ticket office doesn't open until 10AM. by then, I have heard "Welcome to Hell" about a hundred times (my ring tone.)

Eventually, we discover that we can reschedule. We will have to pay the extra $9 per ticket, as our Wednesday trip was at a group rate discount that was only available on that day. That isn't a problem. The real problem is timing. We can get a bus only on Thursday, but there is no way i can notify all my students of the change. They are checking on a bus for Friday. Then, I find out Friday won't work, because it is homecoming for the basketball team. So, no trip. $971 in tickets is lost (actually $845 as I sold 6 tickets to students at $21 per ticket) Our fundraising was for the bus fee, which is now being refunded. We will have raised $850 by the time all the money is brought in. So, we break even, sorta.

That takes us through Thursday. Friday, I was home again. This time I was sick.

Saturday finds us going to Beattyville. Chris has been moved there. It is a 48 mile drive that according to mapquest® takes 1 hour and 31 minutes. We head out about 8:30 and arrive there about 10:00. The roads were snowy and very slick. It was a tedious drive. The snow fell as we drove. Some of the stretches of road had no tracks. Most of it had just a few tracks. Still we made it there. We went to Lexington after Beattyville.

We stopped in Winchester on the way to Lexington. We went to one of the Chevy dealers there to look at Trailblazers. We drove one that drove like a tank. Then we drove one that drove great, but had aftermarket tinting done, with it's black interior, it was like a cave. There were issues with it. The gear shifter knob came off in my hand. One of the windows was cracked. All of which, the salesman assured me would be fixed. Here is what got me. He asked me what I wanted to spend. I gave him a specific number. Then he wanted to show me a GMC Envoy XUV. It was beautiful. It drove great. We were interested. We sat down at the desk and started talking price. The first words out of his mouth was the price that was $6000 more than I told him I wanted to spend. WTHeck? Quickest way to lose a sale with me is to ignore what I tell you. I know what I want. I know how much I want to spend.

From there we went to Lexington. We stopped at Motorvation to see Randy, who sold me my last two SUV's. He had a few to look at. He had a Ford Explorer. It was nice but not as comfortable. He told me he had one *a little more than I planned on spending" but well worth the price. He didn't let me test drive it until he had told me the price and made sure it was OK with me. It was, and we did. It was nice. Oh, it was nice. It was an '03 Trailblazer with 37K miles on it. It was the extended version (2ft longer.) It had third row seating. It was very nice. It drove great. It was very comfortable.

I did some quick figuring in my head as to the price with my credit unions interest. It was affordable. I wanted to stay about the same as my current loan payment. This was going to be about $70 to $80 more. It was doable. I told them to make the deal. Less than an hour later we were on the road in the new truck. We decided to keep the Bravada instead of trading it in. Trading it in would have saved us about $20 to $30 a month on the payment. That was like saying, "you can buy this Trailblazer for this much money and for an extra $30 we will throw in a nice Bravada."

We were looking for a car for Tammy anyway. She wants to put the 'ro in the shop and would need a car for a little while. we wanted to spend about $2K on a car. The payoff on the Bravada is about $2K. So, we use that money to pay off the Bravada, and she has a car she already knows all the quirks on. It only has 102K miles on it. It is a '99. Still a great ride.

Then, on Sunday, we all did the audition thing. Tammy, Chelsea, and I auditioned to sing the National Anthem at a Lexington Legends Ballgame. I auditioned last year and sang at one of the games. We auditioned individually. The CEO of the legends was one of the judges. He gave me a thumbs up. I assume that means a good thing.

Tomorrow is Presidents Day. No school for students, It is an in service day for me.

Now, you are mostly caught up.

How has your week been ?

It has been an inFLUential week

Actually ... Chella has the flu. I am sure I have it as well. I have been doing the sneezy, sniffly, coughy thing most of the week.

It has been a week away from school for the most part. There was no school on Monday because of snow. I was still there (reference-previous post.) Tuesday, there was school, for half the day. The students went home at lunch because of oncoming weather. I was not there at all because I was sick. I was still sick on Wednesday, but there was no school because of the weather again. Today there was school, but, once again, I am still sick. I could have went to work and took it easy. (Funny how my students never seem to mind if I am feeling bad and don't feel up to giving it my all. They are perfectly willing to take it easy.) I just never was one of those people that brought my plague to work to share with everyone else. Since my principal seems to have it as well, I would guess that someone at work did just that. Thanks.

The funniest thing was that one of my students sent me a text message during the time he was in class about how to hook up the cable to the TV. We have cable in the classrooms, but I disconnected mine, because, last year, every time I left the room, MTV was on when I returned. I fixed that by completely taking the cable out of the classroom. It is still available, but only if you know where the 25 ft cord is, that connects it to the TV. Chris (the texting student) is in my class from 10 til 11:27. He sent his message at 10:07. I got the message after lunch. Sorry, Chris, at 10:07, I was sleeping.

As of right now, I am thinking I feel well enough to make it to work tomorrow. However, it is snowing outside again. The 5:30AM SnowGo report will tell whether tomorrow is a school day or not.

Between snow days and sick days, I haven't seen the students for a week. I think I actually miss them. (Slapping myself back to my senses.)

We will see what the morning will bring.

Snow day snow day !

There is no school today. There was no school on Friday. Now, what that means to me is no students, but I still have to be at work at the school. It is a funny kind of twist that makes work fun. When the state wants me to be a teacher (like when it is to their advantage,) I am a teacher. When the state doesn't want me to be a teacher (like when it is to their disadvantage,) I am a state employee.

The county calls off school because of weather and all the 'teachers' get a day off. However, on those occasions, the State has decided that I am a State employee and therefore required to be at work unless the governor closes state offices.

On Friday, I took a personal day off from my annual leave. I think I have 13 or 14 days accrued. I get one annual leave day and one sick day a month. Anyway, here I am at my desk. I did come in one hour late because of the snow and ice, but am allowed to make that up sometime, anytime, in the next 4 weeks. I am thinking I will make up the 7.5 I took Friday as well, since I am always here late anyway.

The rest of my life is slowly grinding back into the routine chaos it normally consists of. The secondary charges against Chris were dropped on Friday. Sierra is still with us, but we did find a house that she may be able to rent. It is about 4 doors down the street from us. It is a little 2 bedroom house. Amazingly, it rents for only $300 a month plus utilities. Even working fast food, she can afford that (if she ever gets a job.) She is still dealing with her jerkwad hubby about taxes and such. I am sure they will reconcile. Neither has the brains to see that they have that destructive kind of love.

There are three Greek words for love. They are: Agape, Phileo, and Eros. Each has a different meaning with different connotations. I believe the best way to describe them comes from two words: Give and Take.

Eros is where we get the term erotic. It is a take/take kind of love. It is a selfish love. It is a love me type of love. It is the destructive type of love. It sucks the life out of the participants and returns nothing to the mix. It does not nourish. It generally leaves a dried lifeless husk of a person when it is finished. It is over when there is nothing left to take. It is that 'on the surface' love. It is easily shaken, rarely long lasting, and sometimes fatal. It is the love borne of lust.

Phileo means brotherly love. It is the basis of Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love. It is a give/take kind of love. It is the love me as I love you type of love. We all have loves here. It is the friendship kind of love. It is affection.

Agape is the sacrificial type of love. It is a give/give love. It is the "I will love you no matter what you do" kind of love.

We all are trying to ascribe to the Agape type of love, but will usually settle in on the Phileo type.

Oops, did I suddenly go on a rant/run. Sorry about that.

Anyway, life is going on.

Someone got me thinking ...

and that is never a good thing .. lol

Actually, I was reading the blog of a dear friend, retro-girl (her blog is on my roll) and she was answering questions about various things. One of the questions (the one that got me thinking,) was about favorite childhood memories.

Let me tell you, I had a wonderful childhood. We weren't money rich, by any stretch of the imagination, but we were the richest family I knew. My parents, still married today after nearly 53 years, were exceptional. When I left home at almost 20, I had still never heard them fight. In their half century, they have spent one night apart because of anger. That was once when Mom was upset with something Dad did, and fell asleep on the couch, so even it was inadvertent. I never saw them argue. I saw them loving and playful. I would see Dad swat Mom on the bottom as he walked through the kitchen. She would say, "Oh Ronald, stop that," but it was obviously tongue in cheek.

Therefore, my childhood was filled with precious memories. I used to think, when I was young and naive, that everyone's family was this way. When I got older and discovered abuse (second hand,) it amazed me. I had a difficult time imagining the circumstances that would cause a parent to hurt a child. I know it happens, but still, it was hard. Now, let me tell you, I got 'whuppings' from my parents. "Whuppings" was the word Dad used, but they were spankings (Mostly deserved.) I remember the changes as I grew up. As a young lad, Mom would spank me when I did the occasional (yeah, right) misbehaving act. As I got older, she tended to spank me less and refer me to Dad for the spanking.

Let me tell you, Mom was a little woman, about 5'3", and weighing not much. Dad was 5'11" and weighed between 200 and 300 pounds depending on the time. However, I would rather Dad spank me any day. Dad was a softy. He would begin to administer the spanking, I would howl as if he killed me, and he would stop, figuring that he had matched the crime and punishment. Mom was a completely different story. Mom knew how much spanking you needed. I don't know how she knew, but somehow, she knew. It didn't matter how much you danced and howled, she wasn't stopping until you had received your 'just recompense of reward' for your offense.

There was never any question about how much we were loved. 'We' being me and my 4 sisters and 1 brother. Mom was a German woman, born there and lived there until she and Dad were married and she came to the 'states'. She was sometimes stoic. She wasn't a big hugger. Still, I never doubted then, nor do I to this day, how much she loves me. Dad was a show-er. He didn't say it all the time, but he showed it. Dad worked as an electrician, and Mom worked as a mother and housewife. They did a great job with my childhood. I used to feel that I should apologize to folks with less spectacular childhoods, for having such a great one, but I am long over that. I am thankful daily for my childhood.

It is filled with memories.

Once, my sister, Barbara (5 yrs my senior) was babysitting me, when I did something evil (no clue as to what it was,) and she chased me as I ran down the street. I climbed a tree about 4 houses down the street. I walked around the branches in the tree as B walked around the trunk below. At one point, a branch broke and down I went, right on top of Barb.

I remember once when we were staying with 'Lula' (Dad's stepmom) while Dad & Mom were at a preachers conference for a week. Dad was a church pastor as well as an electrician. I was 5 yrs old. That left the other ages of the others at: Barb 10, Kathy 8, Donna 4, Richard 2, and Patty was with mom at 6 months old. Papaw and Lula had an old farm house with no running water. There was a well pump that had to be hand pumped that brought frigid ground water to the house. There were no bathrooms. Out back, about a mile (so it seemed to a 5 yr old) was an outhouse.

It was the middle of the night when I awoke with the need to do '#2'. I went to the back door and peered into the murky darkness. At 5, I didn't know it was murky darkness, I just knew it was dark. I pondered the scariness of the situation and hesitated. My body did not hesitate. I messed my underwear. Being filled with the wisdom of a 5 yr old, I took off the shorts and flung them off to the side out the back door into the (yes, you guessed it) murky darkness. In my mind they were gone forever. I cleaned myself, redressed, and went back to bed.

The next morning, we were all gathered at the table to eat breakfast. Papaw and L had already been up for hours. They got up with the sun. L had prepared a great breakfast. She said, "Someone needs to say Grace, anyone but Ronnie, who messed his underwear and threw them out the back door last night." I could have crawled under the table. I was discovered. I still laugh about that day.

Dad was a church pastor as I grew up. When the church was small, he would take me out back when I misbehaved and spank me. Then he would give me his handkerchief, tell me to dry it up, and we would go back inside. I would walk in as if nothing had happened, even though the entire congregation knew I had just got my bottom busted. As the church grew, Dad was less able to stop things and spank me, or any of the other kids that misbehaved. He would snap his fingers and every kid in the church would stop doing whatever they were doing (even the kids that weren't his) and straighten up for a minute. If it was me, and it often was, he would point his finger to let me know, I had a spanking coming after we got home.

I would get into the back of the stationwagon when this happened and conveniently fall asleep. When we would get home, Dad would take me out of the car, feigning sleep, and put me to bed. It just wasn't right to wake a sleeping child to spank them. It was a good plan.

One morning, following a night when I was supposed to get a spanking and didn't, my sister Donna, came dancing down the stairs from her bedroom, telling Dad, "you forgot to whip Ron last night." I was sunk. I was undone. Dad went into the bedroom to get his belt. I knew I was going to get it.

Instead, he spanked Donna for tattling. Yes, it was a GOOD morning !!

There were trips to the mountains. There were drives to the country. There was a time we drove through a creek to get to the farm and water came in at the bottom of the door. There was ice cream on the way home from Sunday School. I had a horse (well, he wasn't mine but I was the only one that rode him .. Domino .. 14 hands,) when I was 10 and we lived in Winchester. We lived on a small farm. We had chickens.

When I was 14 we moved to Woodford County to an 11 acre place. Dad and friends built the house. I helped. It was a good time. I remember, when I was 16, we had a cow that died during the birth process. The Vet had to deliver the calf. It was a male. We kept it in the barn and fed it with a bucket that had a nipple at the bottom on the side. The bull calf was doing well. I was in the stall one particularly hot summer day and the calf was taking his dear sweet time, and mostly not nursing. I thought, "it is cooler in the garage at the house." and decided to take the calf there to feed. I picked up the calf and put him over my shoulders (front legs on one side, hind legs on the other, carrying him across my shoulders.) I grabbed the bucket with my hand and walked the 500 yards up the hill to the house.

It worked great. It was cooler in the garage (basement under the house) and the calf finally nursed. I wasn't burning up. After he was done, I repeated the carrying thing and grabbed the bucket to go down the hill to the barn. About half way there, I felt something hot suddenly running down my back. I leaned my head back to find out what it was, when I was assailed by the pungent aroma for fresh bull urine. I gagged. I threw the calf down. I puked. In the middle of the field, I was wet and heaving. I returned the calf, and ran back up the hill to hit the showers. Weehawwww !

Those are just a few of the wonderful times I had in my childhood.

Thanks Red, for reminding me to remember them.

something I wrote and forgot to post

Falling

Have you ever considered the unlikeliness of love ..
It is little wonder we call it 'falling'
With all the minor and major happenings which must coincide
Any one of which could have prevented us from ever meeting
One twist of time and we are complete strangers
Each going our own way, oblivious to what was missed
One hiccup of fate and we pass, moments from love
Never feeling even the wind of cupid's passing arrow
For all the angry messengers of mankind
Cursing the workings of the fates
I can only sit and marvel at her wisdom
For all around us we see it .. the wonder of love
It fills our songs and our poetry
In a never ending effort to put to words the wordless
It is a trend these woefully inadequate words will not stop
It weaves itself as an inexplicable thread throughout our being

We cannot see it in a tangible form
And yet we see it in the actions of the smallest caring
We cannot hear it, as it does not possess a mouth
And still, we listen for it on every wind
We cannot hold it in the grasp of our fingers
Nevertheless, we house it in our hearts
And allow it to spill forth
We cannot run it across the taste buds on our tongue
However, the taste of love is sweet
And even without odor
It assails the nostrils and fills the head

I never knew the unreal
Could become so real
Until there was you
You are what love has tried to tell me my entire life
You are the words my heart has whispered
Even before I knew how to listen
You are my ‘falling’

Ron
January 18, 2007

Life gets busier

Things are on the run here as usual, it seems. More and more, busy is the rule rather than the exception. I think it is time to scale back a bit, although I don't see how it is possible.

School is busier than ever. I have been talking to several businesses about co-oping some of our students. I am still working on the fundraising for SkillsUSA and the upcoming trip. Add to that, the brochure I am designing for the school, the five classes I teach, and all the other little things that come with them, and work is like .. Well, like work.

Working for the state, there is a motto: "No good deed goes unpunished." If you do your job well, you get more work to do. If you excel in one area, they try to bog you down in another area. So, being the perfectionist that I am, I am a prime candidate.

The situation at home is busy as well. The news on the Chris front is not good. I won't go into that here. S is still here, still pregnant, and still not working. Every day it seems, one of the kids has something that needs to be done. Some days, we just want to go upstairs, close the door, and hide in the waterbed.

Tammy's work cut hours and they cut her back. She told them if this was going to be the case, she would giver her two week notice. Suddenly, she is back to nearly 20 hours a week. Which, is a good thing. The less time she has to 'hang around' the house, the less time she has to do all the running the kids think is required.

Still, the days get shorter and busier. There is no end in sight in the near future. I can see a vacation looming on the horizon. The next school break of any length will be filled with cabins and woods, even if it is just an hour down the road. I am looking at NC, but will take anywhere that no one can find us. I am looking for a place where, when the cell phone rings, we are too far away to do anything for anyone.

But .. Until then .. Life just gets busier ...

The Spark

My Principal asked me write something .. or do something .. for the School Board Appreciation thing.

It includes a cover that says:
Thanks for all you do to keep the spark of education alive in Clark County.

It all begins with a spark.

Walking back from the retirement dinner
I took a trip in my mind,
To try to find the place it all began
Backwards I tread through the thirty years
Of loving what I do and doing what I love
This time watching as it unfolded
Even the day I started, it was already there

Farther back, I trekked,
Eyes intently watching
Watching as it ebbed and glowed
Throughout those college years
Must have happened before then
I mused, considering all I saw

Back to high school
Those oft remembered days of youth
The friendships formed,
That last even until today
Forming and making me
Becoming the person, I was supposed to be
Still, it was already there

Middle school came and went
Filled with laughter and learning
Building blocks,
On a foundation already fashioned
Elementary school, there I found it
That first beginning spark
A certain teacher noticed it
And fed it from the menu of education

It happens different for us all
At diverse times and poles apart places
But somewhere along the way
We find ‘our’ spark
And there it really begins

Now I find, Even in this eve of my life
That spark, now a flame
Calls to me still

Ron
January 23, 2007

Oh yeah .. And on Saturday

I got certified as a CPR/First Responder.

It was a cool class. The presenter/instructor was Rob, an Englander with his accent in tact. He is a diver, among other things. He is also a personal friend. We held the class at our house, with 12 people in attendance. It was a blast. Ten friends and Tammy and I, working our way through the manual and the hands-on stuff. We did the actually procedure on a resusci-annie. It was interesting. I did this when I was an apprentice electrician, but that was a long time ago.

We also did the First Aid part and the AED device training. AED is the new defibrillator thing that does everything nearly automatically. We are getting one for our school.

We took a break between the book and test part, and the hands-on part. We went to a Chinese restaurant for a late lunch. 15 of us (Rob & Brandy had 2 of the kids with them and we took Sierra, who is 18) took over a section of the place. The fortunes were very interesting. The key to reading a fortune from the cookie is to add the phrase, "In bed" at the end of whatever fortune you get. One of our friends, who is a lawyer, got a fortune, that worked with or without the ending phrase, but was much more interesting with it. It read, "Your tongue is best ambassador," IN BED !! It was priceless.

Then back to the house for the final phase and viola', we are certified for 2 years.

We had a Board meeting after the class and even thought for a spilt second about going to Lexington that evening. It passed quickly. We were worn out. Getting set up, getting the foods ready, playing the generous host, and getting certified, wore us out. The bed seemed like a much better place to spend the evening rather than about 2 hours driving.

On Sunday, Tammy was fixing her hair when she dropped something. When she bent to pick it up, she banged her head on the hutch mantle and went to the floor. She wasn't knocked out. She was just startled and sat down. I asked her if she was ok. I told her I was trained, did I need to resuscitate her? She was really fine. She made a nice bump on her head though.

Last night we got to babysit the two grandkids, Ian and Abby. Tammy was in heaven with a 5 week old baby in the house. C and C went to the movies and out to eat. They loved the time away but missed the kids too. Good parents.

Now, it is back to the grindstone.

Peeve time

I am not sure it is a pet peeve, but it definitely is a peeve.

Main Entry: troop
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French
trope, troupe company, herd, of Germanic origin; akin to Old English thorp, throp village -- more at THORP
1 a : a group of soldiers b : a cavalry unit corresponding to an infantry company c plural : ARMED FORCES, SOLDIERS
2 : a collection of people or things : CREW 2
3 : a flock of mammals or birds
4 : the basic organizational unit of Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts under an adult leader

I am reading the news and it says, 5 troops killed in Iraq, or like today 26 troops killed in Iraq. I am mortified. Then, upon investigation, I discover that is was not 5 troops, or 26 troops, it was 5 soldiers, and 26 soldiers. While, 1 dead soldier is not a good thing by any stretch of the imagination, it is not as bad as 1 troop. You would think that journalist would know the difference. Are they just trying to sensationalize the loss of life ? If so, they are just as guilty as those that embellished the facts to get us into this war. If exaggeration for effect (Hyperbole) is wrong for one side, it is wrong for both sides.

It is a tragedy that American soldiers are dying and American troops are stationed in Iraq based on a lie, but lying to emphasis it puts you in the same boat as your opponents.

That's one of my peeves.

Pulling the reins back ...

Wowser ... Has it ever been busy ..

It has been a whirlwind. Revelations, which I will not go into, have caused us to ask our son-in-law to move out. He chose to go to his sister's house, where his wife is not welcome. She assured him that she would bring him back and forth to Mt Sterling for work. Guess what ? First day he as to work, S calls to see if he is going to work, and he claims his sister will not bring him. Only one of two things could be .. Either she lied to him or he is lying to us .. Either way, we wash our hands of it. S can stay, under the conditions to which they both agreed. There will be a job involved or much job searching. There will be every effort to keep our life as close to what it was before.

I am sorry that S has to go through this, but this is the world she created with her actions. Against better advice, she went forth with marrying this guy. Against better advice, she let her life become what it is. Now that she is living in the heat of the consequences of her actions, she wants to whine and feel sorry for herself, and we are not having any of it.

It never ceases to amaze me when people, living in the hovel to which their actions have reduced their lives, look up and question as to how GOD could let this happen. I believe that GOD created this world a long time ago. When he handed it to man, we began remaking it in our own choice of images. When it gets out of control because of the choices we have made, we turn to GOD and wonder why he let it happen. We wrestled it out of his hands. We took control. We screwed it over and over. We created this FUBAR, and then we look up and ask 'WHY?'

You are why you are where you are. Ultimately, I am responsible for my position in the world. Every day I am faced with choices. Each choice is attached to a consequence. Some choices are light and the consequence is light. Some choices are heavy, and the consequence is heavy. Other are in the middle. Still, the choice and the consequence are mine to own.

(Sliding the soapbox mostly back under the bed)

While I am typing this, I am printing envelopes for our fundraising for SkillsUSA to go to the Nat'l Farm Machinery Show in Louisville KY. My own insanity has caused me to agree to take 43 high school students on a day long into the night trip on Valentines Day. There is that Dierks Bentley song .. "What was I thinking?"

Still, it has been fun getting it ready. The students wanted to go. I had them write a letter to the Principal of GRC requesting permission to go, outlining all the positive effects it would have to their education. They did a great job and he agreed to let them go. Now, we have to raise the $790 to rent the bus and the $971 for tickets. We are selling candy, want some ?

That is part of the pulling the reins back title .. Every day is a new thing to do concerning this trip. Each day the list changes. Each day someone else wants to go. Yesterday the list stopped when I submitted the names to the National Skills USA organization. The list is now closed. 49 students joined. 43 are going on the trip. There will be many pictures taken. This will be a membership drive item for next year.

When I came here, the chapter was nearly extinguished. Membership was nearly rock bottom. The new Advisor was making some changes and number were growing. However, he left at the start of last year, leaving it all to me, with me not knowing very much about it. I have been learning on the job. This year is the highest number for membership in many many years. (patting myself on the back just a little) .. I am proud of the students and student leadership. They have kicked in marvelously.

I am hoping for a slowdown (another Dierks Bentley song, if memory serves me correctly.) With a month until the trip, and much left to do, I don't see that happening. Still, it is nice to dream. I think I need to learn the fine art of delegation.

Well, there you have it. Most of the stuff going on. Oh there is much more, but it is all the usual goings on. Kids stuff. House stuff. Car stuff. Sickness stuff. Work stuff. Bill stuff. You know, the usual.

Season

She wakes in the morning
The Winter of night still lingering
Her fiery hair still tousled
From the storms of darkness breath
Slowly the twinkle of Spring
Embarks upon its maiden dance
As the light begins to shine in her eyes
And ... once more ... life yawns into existence
Eventually the swiftness of Summer
will urge her footfalls
As the day launches into a run
Bright and fast, the summer sun blazes
Late the Fall chill fills the air
Haste calls all the louder
Winter approaches, creeping on silent feet
Calling the slumber king to reign once more
Every day I love her in all of her seasons

There are seasons of the day
That pass by, nearly in a blur
There are seasons of the week
Days of haste rushing into days of rest
There are seasons of the month
And seasons of the year
Each we spend together
I love her in all the seasons of her life

All her life and mine
Our seasons come and go and intertwine
Her Winters some days falling
As my Summer days are calling
My Summer sun finding a way
To keep her Winters chill at bay
Her Summer during my Fall
And times when Spring calls to all
Every day, I love her in all of her seasons

Eventually, our seasons will end
And others will carry on
As is the way of all living
But, until then,
In the chill, In the haste,
In the warmth, and in the fresh,
Every day, I will love her in all of her seasons.

Ron
January 13, 2007

Yes yess yesssssss

The long weekend is coming!

This has been one busy week, both in school and out.

There were too many trips to Lexington. We were out to help dad and went to BestBuy and got him a new laptop. He has finally killed his old one. Saturday, we went out and bought one for $1000. The salesman told us that it was going on sale the next day (shhhhhh don't tell his manager) for $850. He also told us that if we brought the receipt back within 14 days we would be refunded the difference. We took it to Dad and set it up for him, adjusted his preferences, downloaded the latest Java so he could play his games, set up his AOL (pretty good, an AOL'er at 76 yrs old,) and added his Quicken Quick Book®. We left him happy.

We were going to go out and karaoke, but Tammy wasn't feeling up to it. We decided that the stress lately has depleted her immune system and that is why she has stayed so sickly. Odd that she started getting sick right after Sierra and Jordan moved in temporarily. Love ya kids. Are you moving today?

Anyway, back to the laptop. I think it was Sunday, Dad called me and told me he couldn't get online anymore. It told him there was an error in the sign in. I tried to troubleshoot it over the phone, not wanting to do the 80 mile round trip to discover it was just a click. He figured it out. He uses dial-up. The computer was looking for DSL. Something he clicked. That saved a trip to Lexington.

Then, he calls on Tuesday. Nothing is working. Mom says he is computer illiterate. I think it is like most folks. They can operate well within the programs, but don't know a lot about programming language.

I am self taught. My first computer was in the early 80's. It was a Texas Instrument TI99-4A. The processor was a 3"x4"x3" box that plugged into the wall, with a keyboard cord slot and a coaxial that went to your TV (which operated as your monitor.) There were no floppy slots. There were no programs to buy. There was a book with Bill Cosby on the cover that explained computer language, so you could write your own programs. I wrote programs to play BlackJack and figured out how to do graphics. I also figured, since I was running it through my TV, that I could run it through my VCR and record it. It worked. I created graphics for several churches to use in the video ministries.

Tammy has a degree in Computer Science. She is a qualified Software writer.

We went to Dad's on Wednesday and reinstalled his operating system. We were meeting friends for dinner, so we left while itwass installing the applications. I told Dad we would be back to finish, and not to bother it. We had a good time at dinner, but as we were leaving, Dad calls and tells me he can't get online. Oh my, Dad, leave it alone. He has this patience issue, lol.

We stopped by friends house to see the new place (right around the corner from Dad) and then ran on over. It was the broadband issue again, as I hoped. He still needed the Java download, but that was for Tammy to do on Thursday, when she had to be in Lexington.

Some weeks, we manage to stay completely away from Lexington. Other weeks, it seems we can't stay out of it.

School has been OK. It hasn't been stressful. We have been busy with SkillsUSA planning a trip to the National Farm Machinery Show and Truck/Tractor Pull in Louisville. The bus is $750 and the tickets are $21. FUNDRAISING TIME!!

It never stops.

But, the three day weekend is coming !!

Yes, I know

I have been neglecting you of late. I offer my sincerest apologies.

Look for some serious sucking up and catching up.

More to come ...

Welcome to a new year

I know that New Years is traditionally a time of renewing. It is a time of resolving. It is a time of reflection. Allow me to reflect.

This has been a good year overall. There have been some dark days as there are in most years, but in the end it has been a good year.

We bought a house. We moved away from Lexington. Our home sits three blocks from the main intersection of the town, and yet, after 8pm, it is very quiet. I love a small town. We live simplistically. Now, I am not talking about hunting our own food supply, unless you count tracking it down at Kroger and wrangling it to the cashier. We have real heat, real floors, and more than one pizza joint. We have every fastfood place available. We have a few sit down restaurants. We have a couple chinese places too. The wonderful difference is in the ratio of land area to people. In Lexington, the density ratio is 353.5 persons to every square kilometer. In Mt Sterling, that density is 44 person to every square kilometer. That is more room to breath, and more importantly, more room to drive.

We also gained a new granddaughter this year. As my regular blog readers are aware, my daughter had Abigail on December 5th. That is a wonderful thing.

I am now back in college. I am taking classes to get my Associates Degree in Technical Education. This is good for a variety of reason. Several of those are: Higher pay with more education, self improvement is always good, and the Commonwealth of Kentucky is footing the bill.

There are things I could change about the year coming to an end. Most of them are actions and reactions to situations. I could have handled them differently. They are mostly minor things. There was one big thing. Still, changing our past changes us. One writer said, "those who do not learn from their mistakes are destined to repeat them." That tells me a couple things. One, I will make mistakes. Two, they are learning opportunities. This year, I have had a few learning opportunities.

I started my 50th year on Earth this year. I turned 49. The next day began my 50th year. I am pretty sure that is a good thing (especially if you consider the alternative.)

Tammy and I are still head over heels in love. I think that means our love is upside down. I am not sure how that is a good thing, but everyone agrees that being head over heels in love is grand. Who am I to argue with the popular consensus? (You don't have to answer that.)

There are things I would have liked to have done. There are places I would have liked to have visited. I would have loved to spend more time with my daughters, and my family. However, we all have our own busy lives to live. We are still a family. We haven't broken down the familial relationship, so, while we may have wanted to see more of each other, we did see enough of each other. I have grown closer to my newest family additions, because they are here. (Some of them have come back and some of them won't leave.) Still, there has never been a day that it affected the love I have for my natural daughters. My wonderful daughters, as you read this, know that I have never loved you more than I love you today, and I have never loved you less than the day you were born. My acquired family, you are as important to me as any of these.

Between work, home, and family, it has been a busy 2006. It has been a good 2006. I can't wait to see what 2007 has to offer. That is just as well, because 2007 will not wait for me to be ready. As my wife likes to say, "bring it."

Ahhh, Christmas

My favorite holiday is independence Day. However, Christmas ranks with the tops too. There was a time that I didn't really care for Christmas. I allowed the commercialism of the holiday to cloud the real reason for the season. I was sickened by the stores and the TV ads and the message of Christmas being largely obscured. I now know, that Christmas can be to me what Christmas is supposed to be and still be just a 2 month commercial to others.

I read a very interesting article before Christmas. It was about just that, the commercialism of Christmas. This was part of it:"There are worlds of money wasted, at this time of year, in getting things that nobody wants, and nobody cares for after they are got." That was written by Harriet Beecher Stowe in 1850

In his book "The Battle for Christmas," Stephen Nissenbaum puts that myth to rest by tracing the history of the holiday from colonial New England to the turn of the 20th century.

December was an important month because of it's cold weather. Refrigeration was not available, so December was the time when fresh meat was available in months. But most importantly, December meant beer. By mid-month, whatever grain surplus their hard summer's labor had produced would have been fully fermented and ready to drink.

In the northern Europe of the late middle ages, gangs of young men would engage in "wassailing," a cross between Christmas carolling and home invasion. The gangs would visit wealthy homes, often in disguise, and sing songs that threatened violence if they were not invited in for food and drink. "Here we go a carolling."

But with the arrival of the Industrial Revolution, factory owners didn't want their employees wandering off for weeks of drunken merriment. During the 1820s, after a series of particularly raucous holiday seasons in New York, the city's elite began campaigning for a more restrained, domestic Christmas. Central to that campaign was the tradition of purchasing gifts, especially for children.

Nissenbaum states, "Perhaps that's the biggest difference between Christmas present and Christmas past. A holiday that began in ancient times as a debauched escape from everyday chores has become exactly the opposite - a frenzied season full of expectations, obligations and stress."

Merry Christmas.

We gathered, as usual, at Mom and Dad's house. My daughters were all sick and couldn't come. That reduced the number by 11. Still there were over 40 people there. There was food and drink. There was holiday cheer. There was catching up with family. There was a great time. And yes, there were gifts.

We do this: We gather in rather haphazardly even though we are given a time to arrive. It is more a suggestion than a rule. Close to a predetermined time, we begin the Christmas dinner. There is turkey and ham and various other holiday trimmings brought by families. The food is delicious and the fellowship is even more so. Old memories are rehashed and new memories are created.

After the meal, we all gather in the living room, where, this year, my niece Jenny and her husband Jerome sang as song. Then Jenny sang "Holy Night," with everyone joining in on the final chorus. After that, Mom calls home (her family in Germany) and we all scream 'Merry Christmas' to them. Mom and I sing 'Silent Night' in German. Then we all sing a chorus of it. My oldest sister Barbara reads the Bible story of the birth of Christ. I read whatever I have written for the season (it follows this story) and then I lead us in prayer.

After that, the presents are dispersed by my brother and I, one at a time, with each recipient opening their gift, before the next is given. The little children all wait anxiously to hear their name called. Once all the gifts are given, there is more time to fellowship with family. This year, we were there about 6 hours.

We came home, sat on the couch, and watched 'Miracle on 34th Street' with the family. Tammy and the kids had never seen it. They loved it.

Christmas day, we got up and opened the gifts here at the house. Later that day, we went to my middle daughter's house where 25 or so gathered for dinner and gifts. It was a great time.

Here is what I shared with my family:

My 50^th Christmas

I can't recall my first Christmas, although I can see the pictures of it in old albums. Come to think of it, I can't remember a lot of the Christmases I have celebrated. I remember snippets of many of them.

When I do think about them, I don't really remember the presents, with some noteworthy exceptions. I recall the year Kevin got dumbbells as a gift, and Richard said, "dumbbells for a dumbbell." Then when Richard opened his gift, it was dumbbells and sometimes payback is immediate.

I recall there were various wrapping paper wars, with Mom always telling us at the start that there would be no wrapping paper war. But, seriously guys, this year, no wrapping paper war. Seriously.

I recall the year Richard got his car. All that was wrapped was the key and Dad made sure it was the last present given. It was parked in the lot of the church across the street on Old Frankfort Pike.

I remember the year I knew I was getting a wok, and saying as I picked it up, "I wonder wok this is."

I remember how we started growing once Barbara got married and how we haven't stopped yet. Welcome Abigail Kennedy Lewis.

The presents over the years have mostly been forgotten. I can't remember every shirt or pair of pants. I do still have and use the wok. I do still have and use the electric grill. Richard's car is long gone.

There is something that remains to this day, from every one of those celebrations. That something stays, in spite of our differences, in spite of our disagreements, in spite of faulty memories. That something is the reason I have an insurmountable debt. That something is the gift all of you have given to me, every year, year after year. Every year it grows. Every year it gets more valuable. It is more precious than gold. It is more costly than diamonds or rubies.

From my heart, I want to thank you all for marvelous gift of family. Thank you to every brother and every sister. Thank you to every niece and nephew. Thank you to every son and daughter. Thank you to all the grandsons, granddaughters, grandnieces, and grand nephews. Thank you, Dad. Thank you, Mom.

All the good fortune in the world is wasted, without a family with which to share it. You have multiplied my joys and divided my sorrows. Because of you, when I have stood, I have never stood alone.

This 50^th Christmas, I welcome you to add another heaping helping to my insurmountable debt.

Merry Christmas to us all.

funny !

www.lettersfrombadsanta.com

Pile-o-pups 

just a handful still 

The Christmas Season is full upon us.

Today is the last day with students. The final finals are given. The pizza parties are planned. Presents have been bought. The pressure is off.

This year, I want wiper blades for Christmas. Tammy says she doesn't see that happening. I guess Ill have to break down buy them for myself.

The most fun for me at Christmas is giving gifts. I love that part.

We (the family) gather at the parents house (all 50 of us) for dinner and gift giving. For years , my dad would sit in front of the tree and pass out presents to the kids. One present was given at a time. Each kid would open his or her gift before another present was given. It was a magical time.

Several years ago, dad retired as the dispenser of gifts. My younger (by 4 years) brother and I picked up the job. Dad would be tickled if he thought about two people required to replace him.

Fifty people gather for family fun. There are no arguments. There are no feuds. They range from months old to 90 years old plus. This year my granddaughter will be the newest addition. Abigail will be nearly 3 weeks old on Christmas day.

Today is a mixed emotion day for the students. It is the last day of school until next year. It is finals day. GRC has a block schedule. Three of the five classes are one full credit for ½ of the year. Therefore, three of my classes are taking final exams. The other two are taking midterm tests. The school has spread them out over two days. Three of my classes are taking tests today. Two took tests yesterday.

My fullest class is eating pizza today. They took their test yesterday. They are rowdy. They are excited. I still have to keep them corralled and somewhat calm, because they will be leaving my class and taking a final in the last block.

All of my classes get to evaluate me today. The evaluation will also cover the principal and the school itself. It will be interesting to see the results. I was surprised recently when a student dropped a bomb on me. I have suspended him. I have given him several detentions. I have nearly flunked him more than once. He has had me for 4 classes in the last three years. He told me that I was his favorite teacher. It is odd to try to figure out how kids think.

But .. After today .. it is thirteen days without students.

ahhhhhhhhhhh

I can’t stop the world

There is a fire burning

Burning without control

Its blaze licking and leaping

Seeking new lives to destroy

There is a fire burning

That sears the soul of the possessor

Reducing to nothing any reason

Touching even those not scorched

Relentlessly building

Lashing out in the private darkness

Leaving bruised and battered the victims

This uncontrolled raging within

Fueled by the vessels past

Destroying the fuel it perceives

The weakness within

To purge from others

This far distant cousin to passion

The rage that is never consumed

Demons carrying the fires

Of their own private hell

A light so darkened

It blinds the mind

Denying even the aftermath

Of violence’s eruption

Victims are left with little choice

Become stronger or die weak

Never realizing the fire lives

Hiding deep within

Sometimes never to be uncovered

But always, patiently, awaiting the chance

That one situation

That one circumstance

Leaving bewildered the victim/vessel

Corrupted by the hated flame

The weakness thought purged

I can’t stop the world

That flame

Never materialized outside

Still the fuel inside

Still the weakness

Still the chance

There are days

Control seems only a word

The warmth rises

Reason still prevails

It is not a part of me

This cowardly flame

And still … it tries

I can’t stop the world

I try, a harbor to make

A place where the flame

And the whirlwind

Cannot find a history

I can’t stop the world

No matter my strength

No matter my courage

Still it turns

Still it burns

And yet … still I will try

To stop that world for one

Save one

That saves one

Stop one

That stops one

That flame

Becomes the ember

That ember

Becomes the ash

That ash

Blown away

I can’t stop the world

Perhaps … we can

Ron Simpson

December 18, 2006

Monday Review

Today is review day at school. Finals are to be given (by mandate of GRC) on Tuesday amd Wednesday, alternating the classes. All 5th block classes are to give finals on Wednesday, the day before Christmas break. This is supposed to insure that all students will be here for the last day.

One teacher was even looking for donations to make her students banana splits for doing well this week. WTF ? What happened? When I was in school, you did well because it was just the thing to do. We were raised to excell and exceed expectations. I raise my kids tha same way. However, some of the kids I encounter here have this attitude of 'what are you going to give me to make me do well for you?"

When we started making schools accountable, not by their efforts, but by their results, we killed the education system. We have endorsed the cookie-cutter education agenda. Students have learned that if they do badly, the school suffers. So, not thinking beyond today (like many kids do?) they see this as thier way to revolt. They can't see the far reaching effect of said revolt. Here is a handy phrase for the next generation coming through the new public education program, "Do you want fries with that?"

Anyway, (stepping off my soapbox) my weekend was good but busy. Sunday was a blur. It started at 4am. Then we got out of bed at 6am. We were at Wal-mart for the "Shop with a Cop" charity event. From there we went to Jesse's to pick up bluetooth handsfree earbuds. Then a fill up with gas (ouch) and a fast trip to the house. A short stop and off we go again to Flemingsburg for church.
Return home, and write a latter to the Montgomery County Board Of Education, then head to DollarTree to drop off a monitor for a friend, and then to Lexington for a Board Meeting. After the meeting, Tammy and I went to my daughter's house to drop off Christmas presents and ended up bringing Ian home for the evening.

Ian is nearly three. Tammy went into the store. Ian and I waited in the truck. When I told him she was coming, he said, " Quick, let's hide." I asked him where we were going to hide. "In here," he said. It was so funny. He is a card. He was a blast to have at the house.

Ah, a running weekend.

Slowly .. Ever so slowly .. The weekend approaches

This has been a week that cries for a weekend. Everyone in the house, except me, has been touched by the 'OMG, I am gonna puke' bug. Kyle has been out of school for most of the week. TJ called his school and they begged her to keep him out until he was completely recovered. It seems 35 students in the 5th grade are out with this flu.

The HS freshman principal has lost his mind. He pulled C into his office to tell her he saw her kissing a boy in the cafeteria one morning. However, it turned out to be a morning when she didn't attend school because she was puking as well. The issue has been that she is a white girl and K (who is just a friend) is black. It seems that racism is rampant in the small town HS. I believe it is a regularly scheduled course with a HS credit offered. (Racism 101) We are requesting a meeting to ask why nothing has been done about the several reports that have been made. As of now, the principal is denying ever receiving reports or names. The next meeting will be either recorded by me, or recorded by my lawyer.

I have tossed one student out of my class for the rest of the semester. That is only 4 days now. He has been a constant thorn. He is one of those students that knows how to dance all over the line and then suddenly withdraw. Tuesday, I wrote him up for 5 violations. Wednesday, I asked that he be removed from my class. Yesterday, I took another one out for a day. It is time some of these student learn the reality of reality.

The problem is the HS. They have no discipline. I talked to the police officer assigned to the school. He concurs. They threaten and never deliver. The students know this and press it to their fullest advantage. They come here with the attitude that they run the show. They will, if we allow it. So, it is a constant battle with some students. Add to that, the HS usually only sends us the students they can't do anything with. That makes sense, take the students you can't control, and send them down the hill to use power tools.

Weekend? Oh weekend? Wherefore art thou, weekend?

Too funny not to pass on

Subject: Bush Bumper Stickers

Bush: End of an Error

That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties anyway

Let's Fix Democracy in This Country First

If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran

Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President

Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an elephant!

Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?

George Bush: Creating the Terrorists our kids will have to fight

America: One Nation, Under Surveillance

They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It

Whose God Do You Kill For?

Cheney/Satan '08

Jail to the Chief

No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq?

Bush: God's Way of Proving that "Intelligent Design" Is Full Of Crap

Bad President! No Banana.

We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language

We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

Is It Vietnam Yet?!

Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either

Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?

You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.

Impeach Cheney First

When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46 - REALLLY!

Pray For Impeachment

The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

What Part of "Bush Lied" Don't You Understand?

One Nation Under Clod

2004: Embarrassed 2005: Horrified 2006: Terrified

Bush Never Exhaled

At Least Nixon Resigned

Every Day

Every day is like a small book
Stacked upon the last
Anxiously awaiting the next

Rarely the same size
As each is filled
With the events of that day

Some days are bursting
Some days are sparse
Some days are sorrow
Some days are joy

Some have ragged covers
And dog-eared pages
From the repeated visits

There are light days
There are dark days
There are days filled with warmth
And days that ice reigns supreme

Some books end early
Neatly sorted and stacked
While others are written
In the wee hours of the night

We hope that each contains
A quantity of laughter and mirth
We hope there is a bucket of happy
For each measured dose of sad

Each day is a journey
From the mortuary of dead days
To the vast unknown lying ahead

Each step writes its footfalls
In the prints across a freshly mopped floor
Trudging the mud of yesterday along the way
Leaving behind the sojourners proof

Some days we want to blot out
Some days we want to hide from reading eyes
But every day a story makes
With each breath accounted for

Eventually, the volumes are stored
And some prominently displayed
They adorn the mantles and walls
Of our memory museums

So.. Write your stories
Write your songs
Compose your poems

As the day draws to a close.

Ron Simpson Jr.
December 9, 2006

Abigail Kennedy 

Some test I took

The test I took was taking too much room and pushing all my side items down to the bottom .. so here are the resutls of the test in simple text form:
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion............73%
Stability...............60%
Orderliness.............40%
Accommodation...........76%
Interdependence.........70%
Intellectual............63%
Mystical................36%
Artistic................63%
Religious...............83%
Hedonism................10%
Materialism.............30%
Narcissism..............50%
Adventurousness.........50%
Work ethic..............63%
Self absorbed...........43%
Conflict seeking........36%
Need to dominate........43%
Romantic................63%
Avoidant................10%
Anti-authority..........23%
Wealth..................50%
Dependancy..............30%
Change averse...........30%
Cautiousness............56%
Individuality...........43%
Sexuality...............56%
Peter pan complex.......23%
Physical security.......90%
Physical Fitness........10%
Histrionic..............36%
Paranoia................30%
Vanity..................36%
Hypersensitivity........36%
Female cliche...........16%

http://similarminds.com

Grandkids everywhere

Whew !

My middle daughter, Chasity, had her baby this morning at 12:41 am. Abigail was 6 pounds 1 ounce, and 18 3/4 inches long. She is my second granddaughter and fifth grandkid overall. Congratulations Chris and Chas ...

AND .... We just found out the Sierra is pregnant. They figure her due date in the first week of August. More grand babies on the way.

The week is progressing at the school. There are just 11 school days left in this semester. It is wrap up time. The finals will be given on the 19th and 20th and then it is Christmas break for 8 school days and 2 weekends. Twelve days off. The state schedule is such that all I have to do is take 2 days leave and I can be off the entire 12 days.

Then, January 2nd, it is hit the ground running with about 20 new students and 15 returning students.

More news as it becomes available ...

ahhhh, a weekend

Here it is, Monday morning, 16 lovely degrees, and I am sitting in my chilly classroom. The heater fan is rattling as it tries to warm up this space. Our Maintenance guy, Steve, turned it on, I am sure, when he came up to collect the trash, sometime in the last hour. The noise makes it useless to try to teach, as it rattles above everything. We will work in the shop, where it is colder.

I will update ya on the weekend, later today. It was a good weekend. I spent money, actually.

Scary thought.